An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) Read online

  A dreamy smile lingered on her lips. “Do that again.”

  “I have wanted this for so long,” he confessed as he thrust again and withdrew with a little more vigor before claiming her again. “I never expected for one moment to have my heart’s desire in my bed.”

  “And I have mine. I belong to you now, Billy Boy.”

  He raised a brow while he loved her as gently as he could despite the provocation. “Careful, darling. I’m on edge already. I don’t want to hurt you more than necessary tonight. Corrections can wait for another time.”

  “For the first time in my life, I know what I want. I am happy that I am with you like this. I want you to be this happy too.” She stretched her arms over her head, pressed her palms against the wooden headboard, smiling, and then chanted, “Billy, Billy, Billy.”

  “No,” he gasped, fighting an arousal that threatened to overtake his control.

  “Yes, Billy.”

  Her defiance was like lightning stroking down his spine. The taunt snapped his control and he shuddered at her provocation. He shoved into her hard and then withdrew, pumping his hips while lust filled his mind with desire and passion and unstoppable love. Matilda braced herself against the headboard as his thighs slapped into hers. He rose above her, desperate and wild not to miss a moment of pure bliss. He hooked her leg around his hip, and she curled the other around him too. With her hips raised from the bed, he could take her the way he needed to. The way she seemed to want him to as well. He twisted her a little to the side, exposing her rear even as he thrust. He slapped her bottom—once, twice. And then fucked her long and hard until he could wait no more.

  He slapped her bottom again and then held her steady as he pumped his seed deep into her body with a hoarse shout that should have been heard all the way to the attics of the house. His spasms lasted forever, but he struggled to focus on her face. She smiled at him; her face flushed a deep red but no tears. “Thank God,” he whispered.

  All the pain and uncertainty had been worth the wait. Matilda offered a shy smile, the kind that never failed to affect him. He collapsed in a tangle of her arms and legs and held her to him. Her softness was a balm for his soul, her trust the most precious gift.

  He’d known, that first day when Mrs. Young had introduced Matilda as a prospective employee, that he’d sacrifice his honor to be with her just once. She had been forbidden to him then, and he’d carried his desire for her in secret. Now he could treasure every moment, shape every interlude to bring them both happiness.

  She stroked his hair from his face, and he recalled a memory from his time as her unwilling charge. He shifted down the bed, lying between her spread legs, and rested his chin gently on her chest, watching her face closely. “You did that when I was first brought home. I remember thinking it would be the last caress of my life, the best thing that ever happened to me. I did not deserve your kindness then.”

  She did it again and raised one brow. “I surprised myself that day too. I didn’t want you to die. It seemed unthinkable.”

  “How fortunate for me. How lucky that we didn’t miss this opportunity to know each other.”

  Her face clouded but then she smiled. “Was it luck? How did you know I could like what you would do to me?”

  “I didn’t know. How could I suspect that beneath such beauty lay a woman after my own heart? I’m glad you agreed to marry me. I’m grateful for this time with you.” He brushed his lips across her skin, overcome by emotions that threatened to unman him. He was truly in love. He’d never felt this way before about any woman.

  “Me too.”

  He jostled to glimpse her face. “Sleep in my arms tonight. If you can bear it, I’d like to make love to you in the morning before we start our day.”

  She pushed him off and then settled in his arms, one arm slung across his chest, her bare leg pinning his down in a way she had not embraced him before. It was possessive and made his heart skip a beat.

  Matilda took a long breath and then kissed his skin. “I would not deny you.”

  “Thank heavens.” He kissed her brow and then cuddled her close. Marriage was what he needed. Marriage to Matilda and all the tenderness she could spare him.

  Twenty-Three

  Matilda tapped the papers in front of her on the drawing room table. “You will dismiss Jenny and Jane today.”

  Mrs. Young gasped. “On what grounds?”

  “On the grounds they’re not working for their wages and never have.” Matilda kept her expression neutral, but inside she was anxious. Giving orders to Mrs. Young was within her rights and expected by her husband, but she did not anticipate that the woman would give way without a fight.

  “They are excellent maids, the best I’ve ever trained,” Mrs. Young protested. “You may not have ever liked them, but that does not mean they do not do their job.”

  “Oh, I liked them the first month I was here until they kept pressuring me into doing their work for them.” Matilda grimaced. “The longer I worked here, the more they did not do, and you turned a blind eye. They put salt in my tea, dirt in my shoes and worse, and you never looked out for me. I would not be surprised if you had not encouraged them too by talking about the pranks played in other grand homes.”

  Mrs. Young spluttered. “You’ve always possessed an active imagination, seeing faults in others before your own. It was not I that trapped the master into marriage.”

  Matilda had been trapped too, by William and by her own nature. She’d accepted that a woman had few options in life, some of them brought pleasure, others brought pain. She could be happy as William’s wife, enduring both, if she dared trust in herself and in him. She turned her attention back to the matter at hand. “You believed their claims that I was dragging my feet while I worked their chores on top of my own. I was not lazy, I was exhausted.”

  “You were dangling after the captain from the first day you arrived.”

  Matilda shook her head. She had known Mrs. Young would resist change but had hoped the woman would see she had two choices—either follow Matilda’s orders or accept the consequences of not doing so. Matilda still hoped for agreement. What had been done to her was in the past, and it was the future she cared about most. She had made a promise to William; she would straighten out his home. She found the sheet of paper she’d prepared earlier in the day and glanced over it to mask her dislike of confrontation. “This lists the chores Nora completed on the last day of my employment as a servant.”

  Mrs. Young attached her spectacles to her face and studied the note. “Seems in order.”

  “According to Captain Ford’s own instructions for the housekeeper, half of those chores belong to Jenny. So, after the chores I was doing for Jenny and all Alice has done too, Jenny was left with dusting the entrance hall and dining room. Hardly taxing enough for a woman of her age and stamina, and yet both rooms remain undusted this week.”

  Mrs. Young made a noise. “She had other duties this week.”

  “Yes, but those other chores are the responsibility of the housekeeper. I do not wish her that much responsibility. Nor does the captain.” Matilda scowled. “Tell me, Mrs. Young, what exactly have you done this morning except slap Alice’s face for yawning at the table and imbibe half a bottle of red wine with your breakfast? Don’t deny it. I can smell the drink on you from here.”

  Mrs. Young’s face colored. “How dare you!”

  “Be careful, Mrs. Young. Do not forget who I am now and what I can do.” Matilda said, remembering William speaking to her in such a manner. “I am the lady of this house, and you will do as I wish or leave.”

  “I won’t stay here and listen to this slander. The Duke of Rutherford hired me, and only he can dismiss me. Which I am positive he will not do.” Mrs. Young pushed to her feet, most certainly in an attempt to intimidate Matilda.

  If Matilda had not already been intimidated by a master of manipulation, William, the housekeeper might have had some hope of winning the day. As it was, the housekeeper�
�s behavior only made Matilda weary. She smiled, having already anticipated this tactic from the woman. In truth, most of the servants here had been originally employed by the Duke of Rutherford. “By all means, speak to my husband’s grandfather and call me a liar. I am sure the great man will immediately side with you.”

  “He’s a fair man, unlike some who think themselves better than others simply because of marriage.”

  Matilda had expected that too. Her elevation had likely upset the old woman, but until now she’d held back her spite. Matilda had no right to think very highly of herself. She had married for money and security, after all.

  “Should you change your mind about speaking with him and accept the termination of your employment graciously from me, I have written an adequate letter of reference for a housekeeper of your years of experience and set aside appropriate severance money. I do not know that Rutherford will offer you so much in its stead.”

  “He will certainly hear of this outrage. So will the captain.” The housekeeper stormed off in the direction of the main stairs. Since William was currently reading in the library, she felt a twinge of pity. She was certain the two would meet directly. She experienced unease for the unnecessary disturbance of his day. Matilda usually tried to avoid any interruption to his routine.

  What could she do if others refused to follow the captain’s rules?

  Matilda tapped the letter of reference on the table, then slid it away into the desk. She would not offer Mrs. Young the letter or severance money again. Her pride had already been stretched enough to offer that much after the woman’s years of neglect and gluttony.

  She glanced up at a tap at the door. “Come in.”

  Nora and Paul Franks filed in, scullery maid and boot boy siblings, their faces mirroring confusion and worry. Guilt ate at her that she had not seen to an improvement in their circumstances sooner. She had been so wrapped up in her changed situation that she had overlooked their needs. But she would take steps today to ensure they were never overworked again under this roof.

  “Good morning, ma’am,” the two said.

  “Good morning.” They stood nervously near the open door, and with a start Matilda realized it might be the first time the pair had ventured into these rooms. She smiled at them warmly, hoping to put them at ease. “And I hope it will be a better morning for you soon.”

  Dawson arrived, carrying a heavy tray. Milk, bread, ham, and cheese. Everything a pair of growing youngsters could want to ease the ache of an empty stomach. He set it on the table before the fire. “Is there anything else?”

  “No, but please see that we are not disturbed by anyone.”

  When he was gone with a polite nod, Matilda gestured to the food. “That tray is for the pair of you. Please eat. I am sure you are very hungry.”

  They looked at her a long moment and then scampered to the tray. While they ate their fill, Matilda collected the letter for their mother, and the coins from their wages she meant to send home with them and waited patiently.

  The boy finished first, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. The girl used the napkin and then stood stiffly. “Thank you, ma’am.”

  Matilda smiled. “Now. I want you to do something for me. I want you to take this letter and these coins and go straight home to your mother.”

  The pair cried out. “Don’t turn us out.”

  “Oh, no. Never.” She hurried to them and caught the girl’s hand. As the elder, she was the one who needed to understand they were not being punished by being sent away. “The letter explains everything for your mother, but I want you to have a little holiday from your duties. I know how hard you have worked here and how little freedom you’ve been allowed. The other servants have not treated you very well, and I’m sorry I have not done more before today.”

  “You were always kind to us, and we don’t want to go.”

  She was glad they thought well of her, but it was best they be removed for now. She was about to set the house into an uproar, and she didn’t want these mere children caught up in the chaos. She passed the note and money to the girl. “You are to go directly to your mother, no stopping to buy treats along the way since your tummies are full already. Help your mother if you can with your siblings, sleep, rest, and do as she says. Then next Tuesday you are to return to your duties here. By eleven if you can, or earlier if you want.”

  They appeared confused. “Are you sure, ma’am?”

  “I am very sure,” she promised them.

  “You’re not mad at me because I let Mr. Lloyd in,” the boy whispered.

  “No. Not at all.” Matilda smiled at the boy. He appeared very worried. “I had something to tell him anyway, so you did me a very great favor.”

  Brother and sister glanced at each other quickly. “Thank you.”

  She walked them to the door, fretting over them finding their way alone. Mrs. Young had not given them leave in the past year. Would they get lost? “On second thought. Dawson!”

  He appeared within seconds. “Yes, my lady.”

  “Would you be kind enough to hail a hack for this pair? I am sending Nora and Paul home for a short holiday. It is a very long walk to their mother’s home, and I would not like them to become lost.”

  The boy’s eyes widened considerably. “A carriage ride? Truly?”

  Dawson beamed, ruffling the boy’s hair. “Only too happy to arrange it. If I may, I’d like to accompany them so the hack takes them the whole way and not half the distance for twice the fare.”

  Matilda nodded, removed sufficient coin from her pocket, and handed enough to him for the round trip. “A wise precaution. Hurry back. There are still a great many changes to make today.”

  Belowstairs, the sound of Mrs. Young’s complaining could be clearly heard. She shrieked and the younger servants ran to the rail and glanced down while Dawson and Matilda listened from a safe distance. He smiled suddenly as Mrs. Young’s protests about her dismissal became clearer.

  He nodded to Matilda approvingly. “Looking forward to it actually.”

  “I thought you might.” She grinned. “We are going to need a new housekeeper.”

  “Do you have someone in mind?”

  “Indeed I do, and that can be discussed later. But first let’s get Nora and Paul away on their holiday.” She put her hand on the boy’s shoulder. “I will see you both next Tuesday, and by then I hope to have everything improved belowstairs.”

  The girl, who had always been more reserved than her brother, dipped a curtsy and led her brother away. Matilda held Dawson back. “Make sure no one interferes with them on the way out of the servants’ hall. I have no proof of this, but I want to be sure their wages reach their mother without subtractions.”

  “Agreed.” Dawson rushed after the children, speaking in low tones as he ushered them into the servants’ staircase.

  So far, all was proceeding as Matilda had hoped. Next was dismissing Jenny and Jane herself if Mrs. Young refused. She didn’t anticipate too much trouble from that pair of imbeciles. She’d pay them enough final wages to send them off smiling with their passable letter of reference. After that, she had enough time to place a notice in the paper for new staff and to draft a new outline of duties. The days where a young or harder-working servant bore the brunt of chores was over. She would personally oversee the staff until a suitable replacement was employed as housekeeper and judged sufficient for her needs.

  She was hard at work on a revised and far simpler menu for Cook when William strolled in.

  “That was not pleasant,” William remarked as he tossed a book onto a chair and stopped inches away. “You might have warned me you planned to upset the applecart today.”

  Matilda stood and faced him. “You told me action was overdue.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. They’d made love last night. She’d finally given herself completely to their marriage and had no regrets. The loss of her virtue had been her decision. William had seemed surprised and he’d been so considerate after
ward.

  “Indeed it was.” He kissed her cheek and then glanced over her writing table while she blushed. His mouth had been between her legs. A part of him had been inside her body, and she’d enjoyed every moment. “I had no idea Mrs. Young thought so meanly of you. I dismissed her too, by the way, without a letter of reference, simply for her unfounded spite. She’s planning an appeal to my grandfather, but I doubt he’ll see her.”

  Matilda shrugged and placed her hand on William’s arm and squeezed. “She has always resented that I was capable and could work without her instruction.”

  William’s arm crept around her back, and he held her a moment. “That she thought to warn me to keep an eye on the silver because of you was beyond insulting.”

  Matilda winced and drew back. “She must resent my heritage.”

  “Heritage?”

  “Hmm, I suppose you deserve to know the truth about my family. You asked about my mother.” Matilda clasped her hands at her waist. “Not many women have a gypsy for a mother.” Although she whispered it, the confession seemed to boom through the room.

  “Gypsy?” William tilted his head to the side as he studied her. “Oh.”

  “Thankfully, aside from her coloring, I inherited nothing of her nature.”

  “When you would not talk of her, I assumed your mother was French or Italian or such. That you were ashamed of the connection because we had been at war with her people.”

  Matilda shook her head quickly. “My mother’s family is English.” She studied William’s face, watching for signs of disapproval. Her heart might break if he turned away because of her mother. “I do get restless at times but not, as my father often remarked, as much as she once did.”

  William captured her face in his palm, turning her into the light. “I have always been fascinated by your features.”

  She grew uncomfortable as he continued to study her. “Unconventional.”