An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) Read online

  There was every need to worry. “This is his home. He does not like anyone touching his possessions. He will become very angry that you just lost his place.” Matilda lifted her chin.

  Harry appeared unimpressed. “What he wants doesn’t matter anymore. There’s a whole world waiting for us outside these walls. You’ll see. You’ll love the adventure of never knowing what will happen next as much as I do.”

  Matilda couldn’t continue without confessing the very big change that had occurred in the past weeks. She twisted her wedding band around her finger. “I can’t leave with you.”

  Harry patted his pockets and searched until he held a dull metal band out to her in triumph. “Cost me a penny we couldn’t afford to lose, but here’s the ring you said you needed. Now come and give the man you love the kiss he’s been waiting for.”

  Her heart lurched, but she somehow found her voice. “Captain Ford has been ashore for over three months, recovering from an injury.”

  “So? He’ll be gone again soon.” Harry shrugged, pausing to admire the ring in his fingers. A ring that looked a great deal less valuable than the gold band gracing her left hand. “What difference does it make? I have it all planned out. A night at the theatre and then the stage for Southampton and beyond.”

  The past months had made all the difference in the world to Matilda’s heart. She took a step back. “I cannot go anywhere with you.”

  Harry continued without listening. “I’ve gone into partnership with a fellow who runs a tavern down there. Very classy, mind. None of that watered-down ale in our establishment, I promise you that.”

  “I am pleased for you.” She heard footsteps behind her, echoing up the main staircase, and froze. Someone was coming. She trembled that it might be William. “You have to leave. Now,” she whispered.

  Instead of leaving, Harry merely slipped behind the door and held a finger to his lips.

  Matilda faced the doorway. Thankfully it was Dawson.

  “Is everything all right, madam?”

  She ignored Harry’s widened eyes at the way she was addressed by the valet. “Everything is fine, Mr. Dawson.”

  Dawson appeared unconvinced as he shuffled his feet. He frowned and glanced around. “I thought I heard another voice with you.”

  “No,” she promised him.

  Dawson had paused just at the doorway. If he took three steps more into the room, he would discover Harry’s hiding place behind the door. He could not be allowed to find Harry. “The servants are all downstairs, I believe, if you are looking for one of them.”

  “Thank you.” He bit his lip a moment. “Is Captain Ford returning soon?”

  “I hope so.” William had quite a bit of explaining to do. “Thank you, Dawson.”

  Dawson retreated, and Harry stretched out his hand to the door and pushed it slowly shut. “Madam?”

  “Yes, I am married now.”

  Harry’s brows shot up. “To who?”

  “To Captain Ford.”

  “To that stuck-up piece of board?” He started to laugh. “That’s a fine jest.”

  “It is no jest. I am married to him.”

  Harry’s face shifted into anger. “Well, well, well. I guess mine wasn’t ever going to be the right ring on your finger. Did you make him promise to marry you before you’d allow him a kiss, too?”

  “It didn’t happen like that.”

  “What was it then?” he ground out. “He felt compelled to make an honest woman of you on a whim? There had to have been something between you.”

  She blushed. William had married her for his own reasons. “I will not explain my marriage.”

  Harry’s expression turned to disgust. “You don’t have to. I can see your plan plain as day. You were always too interested in him, making sure you followed his orders to the letter, all with a plan to force him to marry you. Clever girl.”

  That stung. It was what everyone assumed had happened. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I never set out to become his wife.”

  “I thought you were different, but you’re just the same as all the others. You’d suffer that man’s company in bed, produce a brat every other year, and play the part of an adoring wife just so you can have at his money.” He grabbed her hand and glanced at the plain gold band on her ring finger. “You should have demanded better than that, sweetheart,” he said, sarcasm dripping from his lips. “Next time make sure it sparkles with sapphires or rubies.”

  Matilda hid her ring in the folds of her skirt. Whatever William had given her had always been enough. “I didn’t marry him for his money.”

  “Well, you didn’t marry him for his charm,” Harry hissed. “Everyone knows he’s got a temper and a half. Good God, the way he bossed you about made me furious.”

  “He’s very pleasant with me,” Matilda insisted.

  “Pleasant?” Harry spat. “Damning him with faint praise.”

  “How I feel about my husband is no one’s business but mine.”

  “Spoken like a true woman in love.” Harry peered at her hard, and then his anger drained away. “A man with his connections could have anyone he wanted. Did you have any choice in marrying him?”

  “No.”

  Harry turned away before she could continue. “I’ll make him suffer if it’s the last thing I do.”

  “You will not harm him,” Matilda shouted. “I won’t let you touch him. I chose to marry him. I wanted to.”

  His jaw worked, and then he spun around. “So this is all yours?”

  “No. Everything you see belongs to my husband, as always.”

  He snatched an empty snuffbox from the mantel and stared hard at her even as he pocketed the trinket. “Even you.”

  “Give it back.” Harry had often palmed small items from the house, but he’d once claimed it accidental. Matilda held out her hand for it when he did not put it back of his own accord. “You should leave.”

  Harry shook his head, eyeing their surroundings with keen interest. “Not until I’ve been compensated.”

  He came close, invading her personal space. He eyed her body boldly. “I’m owed, madam. How would you like to soothe my disappointment?”

  He grasped her about the waist and planted a kiss on her lips. It was wet, disgusting, and she fought to get away from him. He released her with an oath when she bit his lip. “Still a prude.”

  Matilda raised her fists, prepared, however feebly, to fend him off. She’d never hurt anyone before, but she would defend herself. “I am married.”

  “Like that ever stopped any woman from taking a bit of pleasure on the side. Even your precious husband has dipped his wick in one or two maids. Don’t get all hoity-toity with me, Mrs. Ford. I deserve some satisfaction after the fool you made of me.”

  She lifted her chin. She had always believed a woman should wait until marriage before being intimate, even if she was marrying the man. Harry had said he understood her wishes and grudgingly agreed to wait. Apparently he placed little faith in a woman’s fidelity after marriage.

  There was such a vast difference between William and Harry’s attitude toward women that it defied description. William would never try to take what she hadn’t willingly given him permission for. He was adamant Matilda should keep her virtue intact even if she had not been so sure it was necessary anymore.

  Matilda would not allow herself to be used in such a way. She was no man’s plaything. She made her own decisions. She calmly walked to the door and opened it. “Dawson?”

  William’s valet appeared immediately, his expression tense as he peered into the room and spotted Harry Lloyd. His stare turned furious. “Yes, Mrs. Ford?”

  “If you’d be so kind as to see this gentleman out immediately.” She gestured to Harry with considerable embarrassment. “He has no business being under this roof ever again.”

  “It will be my pleasure.” He rolled his shoulders, hands bunching into fists. “Immediately.”

  “Dawson, check his pockets first,” M
atilda said. “Mr. Lloyd seems too fond of the captain’s possessions.”

  Matilda took a chair in the drawing room as a scuffle broke out between the men. Harry fought off Dawson, eventually throwing the empty snuffbox away.

  But finally he was gone.

  Matilda sat alone in the quite drawing room and began to shake. She put her fingers to her lips and attempted to scrub away Harry Lloyd’s kiss.

  William had lied to her about Harry’s demise.

  She had married William believing she had no chance to marry for love. Harry could not love her now. She had accepted William’s offer of a temporary marriage that would leave her with funds but ruined socially, seeing that as her only chance for a comfortable life.

  Now that lie was revealed, had she any incentive to remain as William’s wife and keep to their bargain?

  Twenty

  William rushed up the front steps of his home. Coming home to Matilda felt so right, and he couldn’t hide his anticipation of seeing her. He was sorry he’d gone out on a fool’s errand and left her behind when they’d had plans to go out together. There had been no summons from Newberry House, indeed his aunt and Evelyn had been away from home and couldn’t have sent any message.

  Dawson’s unhappy face greeted him in the entrance hall. “He came.”

  William passed off his hat and gloves to the butler. When Carter did not leave immediately, William sent him away. He drew Dawson into his library. “What happened?”

  “Your wife met Mr. Lloyd. Somehow he managed to get into the house, past every servant, and arrived upstairs. He was in the drawing room. I warned you the servants needed to be dismissed for their lack of propriety and respect to you both. He must have had someone’s help, because I made it very clear that he was never to come here again the last time I saw him.”

  William curled his hands into fists. “So she’s gone off with him.”

  “No, she is in the drawing room. But she is weeping again.” Dawson drew closer. “She’s had a shock. The man revealed a little bit more of his nature than she was prepared for.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Nothing happened, but I think he might have forced her had I not intervened.”

  “I’ll kill him.” William considered his options. Chasing after Harry Lloyd appealed, but Matilda was upset. He’d see to her first. “Thank you, Dawson. I had better go and meet with my wife.”

  He trudged upstairs, more than a little worried about what sort of reception he’d receive today. Sometimes she smiled, sometimes she seemed wary, but after discovering he’d lied to her about Harry Lloyd’s death so there was no impediment to their marriage, he expected any number of greetings. None of them could be good or in his favor.

  He stepped into the drawing room, spotting Matilda far down the large chamber, and closed the door behind him to ensure their privacy. Her gaze was pensive as she stared out the nearby window. He drew closer, tense with both anger and apprehension.

  She didn’t acknowledge him, so he sat at her side and waited for her to speak.

  Her head turned a little toward him. “Dawson told you I had a visitor.”

  “He did. I will go after him directly and make Lloyd regret ever coming to see you.”

  “You will do nothing.” Her jaw clenched. “Do you understand me? You will never raise your hand against Harry Lloyd.”

  “But he has upset you.”

  “No, Captain. You have upset me.” She played with the ring on her finger. “Why did you say he was dead?”

  “I didn’t.” He winced. “It was you who twisted my words to take on a more permanent meaning.”

  “You could have corrected me.” She blinked rapidly, dislodging a tear. “You always correct me.”

  “I know he meant something to you, but you deserved better than that scoundrel. He would not have treated you well. He would have used you.”

  Her breath caught. “You used me to avoid marrying Miss Chudleigh.”

  “You knew I was going to do that.” William stared hard at her face, trying desperately to read her mood. “You agreed, and I’ve never imposed on you. I thought this, we, were becoming more than a business arrangement.”

  “Our bargain is based on a lie.”

  “Our marriage is not. Have I not kept my promise that I would protect you and never ask for more than you are comfortable with?”

  She laughed bitterly as she studied the plain band gracing her left hand. “I accepted you because I could see no other way to escape servitude. I could not see the truth of your character, only the lie that you were a gentleman with somewhat honorable intentions.”

  “Lloyd did not have honorable intentions toward you. He fooled at least one other maid into sharing his bed.”

  “I never did.”

  “I never suspected you had. When you told me he offered to marry you, I was livid,” he said. “I can recall the misery of another maid who’d been charmed by Lloyd’s smooth tongue perfectly well. I wanted to spare you the unpleasantness.”

  “He had a ring.” Her brows drew together. “He came to marry me.”

  William swore. “I don’t believe it.”

  “Well I do, and that is all that matters,” she whispered, turning away from him. “So you decided to save poor, gullible Matilda. To keep me in this gilded cage until you are bored with me.”

  “You are not gullible, and I would never tire of you.” He nudged her arm. “What we have is not easy to describe, but I am happy with it. I thought you were becoming so too.”

  She hugged herself. “How can I trust you now?”

  “Because you know me, better than anyone else ever could or will. I have done everything I can to protect you. I accept your limitations. I will never ask for more than you want to give.” He frowned, trying and failing to define how he felt about Matilda. It was more than need or want. He couldn’t bear to lose her over this. “Lloyd was dismissed from service for lifting the skirts of another maid. He filled her belly and denied any responsibility.”

  Her skin paled. “Why did I not hear of it?”

  “Luck and quick action.” He sighed. “The girl had been Dawson’s particular friend—not an intimate acquaintance, he assured me—but they confided in each other. She only told him, and he appealed to me. When confronted, Lloyd fled. I never imagined he would return. I never imagined you had formed an attachment to him until the moments before you accepted my proposal.”

  Her brow furrowed. “He said he was going to make his fortune, and he has.”

  “That surprises me. Lloyd barely worked a day here as it was. Dawson has revealed tidbits of how the servants’ hall is run, and I have to say I’m not pleased with what I have learned has been going on behind my back. I am sorry if you were imposed upon when you were a maid here.”

  “I was not imposed upon,” she whispered. “But I was worked very hard. I used to go to sleep at night so exhausted that my whole body ached. Morning always came too soon.”

  He clenched his hands into fists, furious. “I’d no idea. I’m so sorry, Matilda.”

  “Why should you have troubled yourself over me? I was just a servant.”

  “My dear woman, right or wrong, you were never just a servant to me.” He considered whether to touch her, take her hand or wrist, but decided against it. He was patient enough to wait. He would let Matilda make further overtures if there were to be any at all before their arrangement came to an end. “It has always been up to you what our marriage entails. I have tried to give you time to adjust to your new role. I care about you. From the moment we met I wanted to protect you. I hired you without references because I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving my house.”

  “Thank you, Captain.” A half smile curved her lips, but her tone dripped sarcasm, something he’d never heard from her lips before. “It is pleasant not to be exhausted anymore. To sleep uninterrupted in a soft bed until after the sun has risen.”

  He clenched his jaw. Was she so upset that she never noticed
her slip into formality? He’d grown so accustomed to her using his given name that his rank on her lips was insulting. “I like to wake you solely to have the pleasure of your company.”

  She smiled sadly at that. “So you can move me around like a puppet on a string.”

  William sighed as his patience was tested with that remark. She might see herself that way, but he did not. Matilda had grown to enjoy his fussing until this moment. “The household needs firmer guidance from you if it is to function properly from now on.”

  “Mrs. Young is very set in her ways.” She shrugged. “She won’t listen to me. Why would anyone?”

  “Because you are my wife. You must stand up to her. If she wishes to remain in our employ, she must adapt.” He clenched his hands between his knees. Dear God, he’d never heard Matilda so defeated before. It made him afraid he had lost her good opinion forever. Did she even want what he offered her? He had to know today if he’d ruined their marriage. “If you wish to separate now because of what I led you to believe about Lloyd, then that is your decision and I will make the necessary arrangements so you can follow him and hope he will offer for you again. He’d be a fool not to.”

  As she closed her eyes and her lips pressed together tightly, William’s heart gave a horrified lurch. Did she wish to go?

  He pressed on, knowing he must. “If, however, you want to remain as my wife for the season and beyond, I will be pleased and support any changes you wish to make within the staff and how the household is run. I want you to be happy here. I want our staff to be happy here too, but there is a thickening layer of dust on all the furniture. They must do some work for their wages. I can only assume the dust has formed because you are not working yourself to an early death to clean our house.”

  She did not react to his words, but tears began to slide down her cheeks.

  He took a calming breath to better voice a third option. “But if spending the rest of your life with me is something you would consider, I would be the happiest of men. We are, despite your misgivings, a very good match. I have trusted you with my life, Matilda, and I have no doubts about that decision. Yet I know it cannot be easy to accept my rules and restrictions. Trust me with your happiness and allow me the privilege of making this a marriage for forever.”