An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) Read online

  William cursed. His discussion with Matilda had to be handled carefully.

  Dawson bowed. “I’ll do my best to keep him out of the house, but I’m not the one answering the doors. You’ll need to alert Carter not to admit him.”

  “Thank you.”

  Harry Lloyd’s reappearance was as ill timed as any bad omen. He did not want Matilda upset. Not when their marriage had finally begun to progress in a promising direction. She had opened herself to him at last, accepting that passion and pain were one and the same for them, confided in him, but he did not know what she would do when faced with her former betrothed. Since she’d never experienced intimacy before their marriage, he felt strangely confident the lie would not completely shatter her trust in him. He took care of her, he asked for her opinions, and after last night… Well, she might be growing more and more fond of his brand of affection.

  He felt no compulsion to bring their arrangement to a close. Separation would be a very messy affair, and Matilda’s reputation would be harmed, even more so than his own. And she was still very much an innocent. The thought of how other men might consider her, assume her much more experienced in pleasure than she was, set his teeth on edge.

  He folded the paper briskly and collected the day’s letters. The more time he spent with her, the more uneasy he was about a separation that would leave her without his protection.

  He would have to confess his deception. With luck, he wouldn’t be sleeping on the chaise come nightfall.

  ~ * ~

  Victoria plopped down at Matilda’s side in the drawing room and took her hand. “Is everything all right between you and William?”

  “Perfect, why?” Her bottom still ached from William’s spanking, but she couldn’t share that with his sister.

  “I heard a commotion coming from your rooms last night, and I am concerned.”

  Matilda frowned. “There was no commotion.”

  “I thought I heard someone being slapped.” Victoria winced. “Quite a number of times, in fact.”

  Dear God, the sound of William’s spanking had carried outside their bedchamber.

  Matilda had been so wrapped up in William that she’d never dreamed their activities would come to anyone else’s attention. She glanced away, thinking of how to explain the situation in terms Victoria could accept. Their interlude had taken a while, and William had been most thorough in warming her bottom with his hand. She couldn’t tell his sister that, however. She had to find another explanation. “A spider. There was a spider in our room, and William was hunting for it.”

  Victoria’s brows rose. “Did he kill it?”

  “What?”

  “Did he kill the spider?”

  “Oh yes, I think he must have. He was quite dedicated to chasing it around.”

  Victoria’s eyes narrowed. “Are you sure that’s all it was? My brother can be a little hard at times.”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Matilda, what are you agreeing to?” William’s voice was the best sound in the world.

  She jumped to her feet and hurried to stand before him. “I was just telling Victoria that you saved me from a very large spider last night.” She widened her eyes, hoping he’d catch on quickly. “But it took a while before you managed to flatten it. The sound disturbed her a little bit.”

  William took the lie in stride but shuffled the unopened letters in his hand. “You know, I’m not completely sure I did get it after all, but I don’t want you to be alarmed, my dear. I will take another closer look tonight and make sure you’re not frightened again. Just ignore any further nighttime ruckus from our rooms, Victoria. I fully intend to look after Matilda. I promise.”

  Matilda’s toes curled in her slippers as desire for his touch reared its head. She was not used to feeling that way about him, and it was highly distracting.

  Apparently appeased, Victoria let the matter drop and stole a glance at his correspondence. “Ooh, the Malvey masquerade.”

  “To which you girls will not be going,” William announced sternly. “Where is Evelyn today?”

  “She needed to speak to Aunt Pen, and stop changing the subject every time I want to discuss the most popular entertainment of the year.” Victoria set her hands to her hips. “Malvey’s masquerade is not even considered that shocking or scandalous anymore. Why can we not go?”

  His gaze landed on Matilda and he studied her. “Because I would like a night out with Matilda on my arm without having to watch over three girls who can get into enough trouble when I simply blink.”

  Victoria huffed but then tossed her head from side to side. “Oh well, fair enough. But only because you’ll take Matilda. I’ll help her choose a costume.”

  “That will not be necessary.” William passed Victoria a letter absently. He passed another to Matilda. “Hold on to that, my dear.”

  Matilda bit her lip at his endearment and quickly dropped her eyes to the invitation. The flowing script invited Captain and Mrs. Ford to an evening of lively entertainment that was to end at dawn. She smiled to see their names side by side.

  “But really, William,” Victoria exclaimed. “She simply must have something divine to wear for her first masque.”

  William pursed his lips. “So I thought too. Which is why I ordered a costume for her and a mask when I remembered the event was coming up. It was meant to be a secret gift, but there you have it—a surprise ruined by your curiosity yet again.”

  “My very own mask?”

  William winked. “You should never wear anyone else’s. Not while I live and breathe.”

  Matilda pressed her lips together, excited by William’s thoughtful and generous purchase. He planned everything so carefully, often making decisions for her many days, weeks, in advance. She had glimpsed his appointment book and seen her name written several times. It gave her a warm glow to see their names written side by side so often.

  Victoria closed her eyes briefly. “Well, she does deserve something nice for putting up with you.”

  He grinned widely and retrieved the invitation. “Nice and painfully expensive, I promise.”

  “Excellent.” Victoria clapped her hands and embraced him suddenly. “You really are a good husband. Who would have thought you’d be so considerate?”

  William’s gaze flitted to Matilda. “I must have married the right woman.”

  Matilda could feel heat creeping up her cheeks. She moved away as embarrassment made her throat tight. They were not going to be married for long, only pretending to be man and wife for a time, and then they would go their separate ways. Even if, at times, she couldn’t imagine not being with William. He was very considerate and generous, except when punishing her. And even that seemed to please her now.

  It would be very strange to go on without him.

  Victoria hurried away with her letter clutched in her hand. When she could no longer be heard, Matilda sank into a chair, wincing a little as her bottom throbbed.

  William moved close, squeezing into the space at her side and kissing her neck. “What are you thinking about?”

  “You.”

  A delighted smile burst over his face. “And I was thinking about you. Especially about last night and what we did together. Chasing spiders was thrilling.”

  Matilda grew hot. “I thought you would have done more.”

  “Taken your innocence?” His breath beat hot against her throat. “I considered it.”

  “Why didn’t you?”

  “I don’t know.” He sighed and then nibbled her neck again. “Perhaps my conscience got the better of me.”

  “Because we’re not truly husband and wife.”

  “We had an arrangement, and I don’t mean to dishonor it.” He nodded. “Once you give your innocence to me, there is no going back. Last night was wonderful, and I loved arousing you. But I think if I were to slide inside you and make you mine, I would prefer to keep you in my bed forever.”

  Matilda panted. “You should probably be more worried that I�
��d become your slave. You can be very persuasive when you try.”

  William slid his hand across her belly. “Are you not that already? You have an obedient disposition made for me, and I crave that and more.”

  “I suppose I am very malleable.”

  “But only with me.” His fingers slid up her side, coming to rest beside her breast. “I won’t lie. Last night I ached to be inside you.”

  Hearing the confession of his lust made Matilda smile. “That pleases me,” she said, aiming at mimicking his confessions of wanting to spank her.

  “I will, but only if you truly understand what that means for you.” He met her gaze, serious once more. “I can’t change who I am. I will always want to correct your behavior, take you over my knee and spank you. I will always tell you how to dress, order your days and nights. It is who I am, but I can understand if that makes you uncomfortable.”

  “It does make me uncomfortable. I have always been a woman who worked. I’m not easy being so idle, but you will likely punish me for attempting to fill the hours.”

  He was silent, and then he kissed her neck once more. The fast quality of his breathing gave her gooseflesh. “Let us compromise,” he whispered.

  Matilda struggled to concentrate. His lips were traveling along her collarbone, and she began to shiver. He might have had doubts about the appeal of his kisses, but Matilda was putty in his hands, near reduced to ash by his scorching passions. “What kind of compromise?”

  “I will always give you three warnings before a correction is delivered.”

  “You’ll tell me what I’m doing that displeases you?”

  “Yes.” He cupped her breast, the one he’d pinched the previous night, and then slid his fingers to the tip. “It will be up to you whether or not you continue the activity and provoke me.”

  Matilda shivered. He held her nipple lightly between his fingers as her breathing hitched. “Billy.”

  “That one will always bring punishment.”

  She met his gaze and smiled. The things he did and said to her had produced an ache between her legs she couldn’t control. “Make love to me.”

  “That’s another matter that must be addressed.” He moved his hand away, leaving her bereft. “I decide when and where we meet for intimacy.”

  “Do I have no say at all?”

  “Some, but only when preceded by a punishment. I get so damned excited when I lay my hands on you, but you can stop me. You can always stop me.”

  Matilda nodded, already believing that to be true.

  A wicked smile played over his lips. “You might even come to enjoy my delays. Anticipation can be a powerful aphrodisiac. I will tease you, tempt you, but hold back your fulfillment until I am positive we will not be interrupted and that you enjoy every moment to the fullest extent.”

  “That is what you do now. Hold yourself apart until you have to act.”

  “Yes, but it is not without risk of disastrous results.”

  She studied him. “The first time you spanked me, you said after that you had made a mistake.”

  He winced. “I was too overcome with emotion to prepare you properly for my actions. That will not happen again.”

  Matilda glanced at him shyly. “I am very prepared today.”

  He stood and caught her hand. “We are going out.”

  She stood quickly. “To where?”

  “That is going to be a surprise. There is something we need to talk about, but not here. I want to be alone with you.”

  He wrapped her hand around his arm and held her to his side. It was a possessive gesture—did William ever behave another way?—that sent a burst of happiness through her whole body.

  “I’m growing to like your surprises.” She glanced down at his groin where the outline of an erection showed. “In fact, I could get very used to more.”

  “Captain Ford, a word,” Mr. Carter said suddenly.

  The butler’s interruption brought a blush to Matilda’s cheeks.

  William shook his head. “Carter, we were just about to go out.”

  “A messenger has come, sent by Miss Evelyn I believe. You are needed at Newberry House urgently, Captain. Something to do with an accident and your aunt. She does not know what to do.”

  William glanced at her swiftly.

  “You had better go,” Matilda urged. “We can talk another time.”

  He seemed indecisive. “The thought of what Evelyn might do to aid my aunt sends a chill down my spine,” he confessed.

  “Mine too.” She pushed him away. “You had better hurry or else she might water the woman’s feet with sherry. She wanted me to do that with you.”

  William sprinted for the front door. “Dear God, I hope I’m in time to prevent such a travesty. ”

  Nineteen

  Matilda couldn’t help but laugh at William’s words about his sister. Surely Lady Penelope Ford couldn’t be in too much danger by having her feet sprinkled with the best sherry. She glanced at Carter and saw his frown aimed at her. Her merriment subsided. “Was there something else, Mr. Carter?”

  He turned away rudely without answering.

  Matilda’s happiness dimmed only a little. If not for William and the acceptance of his sisters, Matilda might have taken the butler’s rebuff to heart.

  She did not today. She was the lady of the house, and Carter had to do her bidding. “I should like tea at three o’clock, Carter,” she called out.

  “Very good,” Carter intoned. But she heard the remark that followed, “The second-best cups will do for the likes of you.”

  “Thank you,” Matilda called after him, little caring if the man liked her or not. Once she would have. There had been a time when she’d been afraid to upset the applecart.

  Not now.

  Being William’s wife was turning out to be much more enjoyable than she’d imagined. There were so many things she could do. She could be busy or sit idly, make plans and discuss them with William when they lay together in bed at night. She was making friends slowly in society and enjoying having a family. She was happy with her life. Content in a way she had never expected. She turned around, filled with excitement and a wish to surprise William later, but stopped dead when she saw she was not alone.

  Standing in the doorway was a man she’d never expected to see again. She cried out in shock and then covered her mouth to whisper his name. “Harry Lloyd?”

  “In the flesh.” He grinned widely and held out his arms. “Did you miss me, sweetheart?”

  Matilda stumbled. “They said you were dead.”

  “That’s troubling.” He pressed a hand over his heart and tapped his fingers in a regular rhythm. “No. Still beating.”

  Matilda hurried across the room and took his hand in hers to be sure she was not dreaming. His hand was solid beneath hers. Warm. She dropped his hand quickly. “You’re not dead?”

  “No. I’m flesh and blood and come back to claim my girl,” he said, grinning broadly. “It’s time for me to settle down.”

  Matilda’s heart stopped beating altogether. “I am settled.”

  He glanced around the room. “I see you’re still keeping to the same schedule. Polishing his nibs’s brass and smoothing his sheets right when I knew you would be at this time of day.”

  She shook her head slowly, her head full of horror for what she’d done. How could this be happening? He was dead. William had told her so. She’d married William. She had made her decisions and had trusted him to keep his promises. How could William be so wrong? Unless he had meant to mislead her just to get his way. She swallowed the hard lump in her throat. “I don’t dust anymore,” she whispered.

  “Moving up in the world?” He nodded approvingly, and then he flopped down on the chaise, resting his feet on a pillow. “I thought I saw Mrs. Young below, but are you running the place now?”

  She winced. “You could say that.”

  “That’s the ticket. Bet you’ve saved us a pretty penny over the past year. So did I. We’ll pool
our funds and make like fish in a new pond far away from here.”

  Matilda twisted her hands together at her waist. A chill swept over her skin. Harry had kept his promise and come back to marry her with no idea her faith in him hadn’t been as firm. She had allowed Captain Ford to drag her into his life and let him punish her whenever he liked. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you write me and tell me where you were?”

  “I’ve been everywhere in England, luv. Why all these questions?” He scowled. “I came here to collect you as soon as I had money enough in my pocket to spare for the mail carriage and our future. I thought you’d at least show a little bit of appreciation at seeing me.”

  Matilda flinched. She’d cut herself off from Harry the moment she’d said yes to William. “You should have written to me with your directions.”

  He shrugged. “And let Cranky Young snatch my letters from you and read them aloud to everyone? Lord, I haven’t missed that old biddy one bit. I convinced the skinny boot boy to help me slip upstairs to avoid meeting her. Can’t wait to see the old trout’s face when we walk out of here arm in arm today.”

  He picked up a book that had been left on the chaise by William and leafed through the pages. A scrap of paper dropped out and fell to the floor, unnoticed by Harry. He snapped the book shut without marking the place again. William would not like that.

  “Don’t touch anything else.” Matilda snatched the book and scrap of paper and tried to find William’s place. He’d been reading some of it to her at night, and she flipped the pages until a familiar expression jumped out at her. She put the scrap of paper there, hoping she recalled correctly where he had read to last night.

  “Still following Captain Bloody High and Mighty’s rules, I see. That man is a tyrant. There’ll be no need to worry about what he might say once we’re married.”