Love Me True Read online

  Well, sitting around dwelling on what she couldn’t have wouldn’t help her at all. She needed to do something. Idleness had never appealed. Clarry tucked the journal into its usual hiding place, scooped up the scrap of parchment, and hurried to the connecting door. She managed to return the scrap of parchment to Justin’s desk without incident then headed towards the gardens. There was a lovely walk to the side of the house she longed to explore. Living here at Staplehurst Hall had some advantages. At least she could stride about for the exercise without fear of censure.

  As she hurried along a well used path leading away from the Hall, footsteps sounded behind her. She turned to find her future husband hurrying to catch up. Clarry stopped. “My lord, is something amiss?”

  “Where are you going?”

  Clarry gestured to the woodland path ahead. “I am attempting to take a walk. Is that not allowed?”

  Lord Justin scowled. “It isn’t if you’re headed for the dower house in that great a hurry.”

  Clarry set her hands to her hips. “I like to take a brisk walk each day, but I’ve been caged in the Hall without leave. Please let me continue on my way.”

  Although it appeared Lord Justin wasn’t inclined to believe her at first he nodded. “I will come with you. I could do with the exercise myself.”

  Justin fell into step beside her and because she kept her pace brisk enough to match his longer strides they had soon covered almost a mile in silence. As they crested a rise, Clarry stopped to catch her breath. Lord Justin snaked his arm about her waist. “Do you really enjoy walking that fast or were you hoping to outrun me.”

  Annoyed not to be believed, Clarry scowled at her future husband. His reaction, to laugh at her expression, surprised her. She could almost believe him happy. He pulled her close against his chest and swung her off her feet and in a tight circle. “My girl, you could wither a man’s privates with that expression.”

  As her feet settled to the ground Clarry took in his amusement but a chill settled over her. “We will have a very bad sort of life if you do not trust me.” She fiddled with his cravat. “I had no intention of meeting with your brother. I will be bound to you under the worst circumstances but I promise not to be more of an embarrassment.”

  Justin dragged her closer, peering intently into her face. A blush heated her cheeks at his close scrutiny. She closed her eyes. Justin pressed his lips to her brow. “I’m not embarrassed. If anything, I think I might be reconciled to the idea.”

  “Reconciled?”

  Lord Justin sighed above her head then settled his chin to the top of her hair. “Content then.”

  Clarry fought to hold back a relieved grin and pressed her hands flat to his wide chest. A bubble of happiness had claimed her and she silently vowed to increase his contentment somehow. “Could we keep walking do you think?”

  “Surely. Where would you like to go?”

  Clarry turned around and looked into the next little valley. “Down there. I think I see a stream amongst the trees.”

  “I know just the path to take.” He held out his hand and she laid hers across his palm. “There is a deep hole down there my brother and I used to swim in as boys. I still like to go there when I need some peace.”

  Although, Clarry noted the hard edge to Justin’s mention of his brother, she ignored it. To learn anything about the man she would wed would undoubtedly bring up his brother in conversation. She’d just have to learn to ignore Lord Ramsbury. She smiled encouragingly and tugged him down the hill.

  They walked along, side by side when they could, Justin leading her by the hand when they couldn’t. For a time she forgot her troubles and concentrated on the warm fingers curled protectively around hers. Lord Justin continued to confuse her. One minute so soft and gentle, the next bristling, as if he’d remembered her entrapment and meant to despise her. She really shouldn’t be surprised but she couldn’t equate the angry man with her lover. He made her forget everything when he touched her.

  Clarry’s head jerked up when they stopped. “Oh, it’s so lovely here.” But she shivered as a chill wind rushed over her exposed skin. “Somewhat colder than the ridge top.”

  “Too cold for a swim. But when summer is full upon us it’s delightfully private here.” Lord Justin struggled from his jacket. “Do you swim by the way?”

  Clarry stared at the dark, slow moving water. “No, never. Father wouldn’t allow me to cavort in public like that. He only barely allowed me to accompany the duchess boating last spring. I’ve never gotten more than my fingertip wet in a stream.”

  Lord Justin’s heavy jacket settled over her shoulders. She glanced up to find his face inches from hers. A teasing smile lifted his lips. “Then you shall have to learn. I should like to swim with you.”

  “I’d rather not be dragged under and drowned by my fashions, thank you very much.”

  Justin’s hand curled around her head. “Ah, but you see that is the beauty of allowing me to teach you. I wouldn’t let you wear a stitch of clothing so there would be less risk of accidental drowning. I wouldn’t let anything bad happen to you.”

  Clarry’s breath rushed from her lungs as he dipped his head and covered her mouth with his. As his tongue invaded, she imagined the scandalous activity. Swimming naked next to her husband, his hands clutching her bare skin tight against his to keep her afloat. Clarry’s hands tightened on his lapels.

  Justin’s lips parted from hers. “Never fear. I’d be naked too. Couldn’t bear to have you becoming lonely. Besides, I’ve heard it’s possible to make love suspended in water. I’m dying to discover if it’s true.”

  Clarry pushed at his chest. “You cannot be serious. In there?”

  Justin settled her tight against his chest. “I’ve given the matter serious consideration and have decided that we must make love whenever we can. There should be at least as much pleasure as we can stand from the union for us both.”

  Clarry stifled a laugh. How serious he sounded. Making love to him had hardly been a chore so far. If anything, she craved more of his touch right now. Clarry let her fingers wander downward until they found the edge of his waistcoat. Justin’s breath hitched as she curled her arms around his waist, following the deliciously soft silk.

  “Perhaps we should sit.” Justin remarked but Clarry had another idea. She splayed her fingers wide and dropped her hands so they covered his bottom. When she squeezed, Justin claimed her lips again. His rough kiss and hard hands thrilled her. Gone was the polite gentleman of the morning. She’d found the rogue she would marry.

  She liked the rogue better.

  Justin groaned as she kneaded his rear, then with a frantic rush he hiked up her skirts and grabbed her leg. His fingers burned her bare skin so badly that Clarry wanted more. She slipped her fingers into the back of his trousers. The long tail of his linen shirt impeded her progress to touch his skin and she whimpered impatiently.

  “Damn it. Someone is coming.”

  As Clarry returned to the world, she caught sight of Lord Ramsbury and the man she thought might be Lord Roderick. Mortified by how they might appear to others, she buried her head in his cravat and prayed they didn’t join them.

  “Ho, Justin,” one called, “Don’t let us stop you enjoying the lass.” That didn’t sound like Lord Ramsbury at all. Justin uttered a curse harsh enough to curl Clarry’s hair. She peeked around him in time to see Justin’s brother fling an arm across the other man’s chest and halt their approach. The viscount appeared uneasy so Clarry moved away from Justin to offer him an encouraging smile. After all, they would be family soon.

  The viscount didn’t smile back. He glanced at Justin then turned his back, giving Clarry the cut direct. Tears filled her eyes as he stalked off in a rush and soon disappeared from sight. She glanced up at Justin to gauge his reaction to his brother’s fast leave taking, but he had stiffened and wouldn’t look at her either.

  After a more than a few painful moments, Clarry tugged his sleeve. “Justin?”

&
nbsp; The growl he uttered made her jump. “Perhaps you should return to the house. I have a matter to discuss with my friend, Miss Wheaton, before you are formally introduced to Lord Roderick. After today, an introduction may not be necessary at all.”

  Miss Wheaton? Clarry turned fully to face her future husband but he avoided meeting her gaze and hurried to his friend. Stung by the sudden dismissal, Clarry watched him conversing with Lord Roderick. Was she not good enough to meet his friend? Occasionally, Lord Justin’s head turned until their gazes almost connected but he turned back to the conversation without acknowledging her continued presence. The snub from Justin hurt more than the direct cut from his brother.

  Heart pounding in confusion, Clarry had no choice but to turn away to trudge up the long hill alone. She didn’t understand what she’d done to make Justin angrier than he may have already been. She’d only tried to be polite. A hard thing given the circumstances they’d been found in. Her with her skirts above her knees and behaving like a common whore.

  CHAPTER NINE

  “I say, Justin, is everything all right there?” Roddy stepped into Justin’s line of vision, blocking Clarry’s rapid retreat from his sight.

  Justin leaned sideways and watched until she disappeared over the rise. Once she had gone he let out the breath he’d held. “Yes, of course. I’ll introduce you later.” Much, much later. Despite Clarry’s near swooning at the sight of his brother, Justin would do his best to protect her from Roddy.

  His friend’s eyes narrowed. “About the marriage. Do you love the girl?”

  Justin snorted. “Of course not. I’m not such a fool to wed a woman for her heart. She has a splendid dowry.” The lie burned and coiled around his mouth so strongly that he almost spat. He hoped Roddy believed him so they could talk about other matters.

  Roddy smacked his hands together and rubbed them briskly. “So. You’ll have funds to spare at last. Well done. Well done. We’ll have to find a good use for them. Perhaps replace that nag you ride.”

  In all honestly, Pericles suited Justin perfectly. The gelding had an unexcitable temperament that suited his habit of composing on horseback. Any other horse would have walked him into a tree due to his inattention. “Perhaps. What say you to a trip into town? I have a mind to spend an evening away from the Hall.”

  Roddy slapped him on the back. “Excellent. You know, I had feared that marriage might turn you into a stodgy lapdog. Let’s head for town, find a table in the tavern and some willing lasses to spend the evening with. If we’re lucky we can deprive some poor sap of his blunt just as always, eh?”

  Justin forced a smile to his lips. “Let’s go.”

  The quicker he could get away the better he would feel. Clarry had clearly not forgotten her love for his brother and until that happened, Justin would keep his distance. He doubted his heart could stand the strain much longer. He refused to become one of those bitter men he often heard about, fighting duels over a worthless woman’s honor until he was made a laughing stock to all.

  As the Hall drew near, he spotted his mother at her window, hands on her hips. God only knew what that was about, but he wasn’t going to hang about to get involved.

  He changed direction and headed directly for the stable to make their escape.

  Two hours later, all felt right with the world again. They had secured a corner table in the tavern where Lord Roddy held court. So far they’d attracted a sizeable crowd of the local gentry and more than enough willing ladies to pass about. The blonde on his knee jiggled her breasts close to his face.

  “Can I tempt ya, Lord Justin?”

  Although Sally had performed admirably the last time he’d had her beneath him, Justin picked up his tankard and pretended he didn’t hear. For one thing, it was still early in the evening. For another, even with her perfectly shaped breast close to his mouth he wasn’t tempted in the slightest. He wanted Clarry’s full heavy breasts in his hands, her curves cradling him close. Sally’s scrawny backside dug into his thigh and he adjusted her to ease the discomfort, then adjusted her some more until she found other set of willing hands to curl about her.

  Roddy peered over Sally’s head and frowned. Justin shook his head, forcing a smile to his lips at relinquishing the girl to Roddy’s enjoyment. He didn’t want her or anyone else. He wanted Clarry. He made his way out the back door, pretending to be heading for the privy but turned away for the walled enclosure. The kitchen garden was so quiet that he let out a breath, relieved to be alone with his thoughts.

  He was doomed for a miserable life.

  The conviction that Clarry still loved his brother cut deep into his soul. Perhaps he should move away from the district as his father suggested. At least they might stand a small hope of being content.

  Footsteps crunched on gravel and a dark shape joined him. “Jus…”

  “Tris…” When a flask appeared before him, Justin accepted it and downed the contents whole.

  “I apologize for interrupting you and Miss Wheaton earlier.”

  Justin passed the empty flask back and leaned against the wall. “There’s no need.”

  “But I interrupted at an inopportune time.”

  Justin shook his head, and the stars left trails of light behind them in his vision. “Despite what you think you saw, nothing has changed. The woman loves you.”

  “Are you sure about that now? It seems to me you were making spectacular progress with her.”

  Justin stood and took a few steps. The world held steady and he could still feel his broken heart. Not drunk enough yet. He turned to glance at his brother’s face. The face his future wife adored. “Lust and love are not the same, Tristan. As a newly married man, you should still remember the difference.”

  Justin stepped back into the tavern and picked up another tankard. Tonight, his only company would be himself and an ale barrel. But he was aware that Tristan hovered anxiously across the room, watching him drown his sorrows in the bitter tasting brew.

  ~ * ~

  Clarry lifted her head from the pillow at the sound of rapid footsteps approaching her door. She held her breath hoping that Justin had come home so she could find out what exactly she’d done to offend him earlier. Despite all her ponderings, she was no closer to understanding him. When she’d received a note from the duchess saying that she was otherwise engaged for the evening and that Clarry could eat alone in her room she had jumped at the chance. A few hours of privacy were a blessing.

  But when she’d discovered that Justin had left her alone at the Hall she’d begun to fret. She hadn’t seen him or anyone in hours, except for servants bringing her dinner. The silence made her uncomfortable.

  A soft knock made her jump, but the door swung open before she had a chance to call out in return. The duchess hurried forward. “Well?”

  Clarry glanced around her. Well what? Had she forgotten something important she was meant to do for the duchess? She could remember every awkward conversation they’d shared up till now and at no time had the duchess asked her for anything. However, her mind was too full with worry over Justin right now to care if she’d disappointed the dragon. “Well what, Your Grace?”

  The duchess hopped up onto the bed beside her. Clarry gaped as Justin’s mother swung her feet two and fro. The movement hypnotized. “I understand that you and Justin quarreled today?”

  Had they? She knew she’d been dismissed out of hand as an unwanted companion. But quarrel? Didn’t it take two to make an argument? “I couldn’t say, Your Grace?”

  The duchess continued to swing her feet. “We will have to do something about that, too, eventually. But right now we have a bigger decision to make. What are you going to do?”

  Clarry wrenched her gaze away from the duchess’s pink satin slippers and shook her head. “I don’t know what you are talking about, Your Grace.” She slipped from the bed and threw her shawl about her shoulders.

  The duchess heaved a heavy sigh. “What are you going to do about loving my son?”


  Clarry’s breath caught. “Justin told you?”

  “Of course not. Most men would not admit out loud that love existed let alone mention the topic to his mother. But Justin is different. He has waited for love to tap his shoulder all his life. However, I do think you should tell him just so there is no misunderstanding. He deserves the truth before your vows are spoken.”

  Clarry plunked down on a chair as the air left her lungs. “Justin knows already. And he’s prepared to overlook it and marry me anyway.”

  The duchess snorted. “Overlook that the woman he loves more than his last breath loves him back. Does madness run in your family, my dear?”

  Clarry shook her head again. The duchess was going to be vastly unhappy but Clarry couldn’t let her misunderstand the situation any longer. “Lord Justin is well aware of my affection for Lord Ramsbury. He’s known that from the start of this whole horrid business.”

  The duchess’s feet stopped swinging. “You love both my sons? How extraordinary.”

  “No, no, no, Your Grace. I only love one.”

  “And which one would that be. The one who is forever beyond reach or the one you’re waiting up for like a homeless hound. Justin has bent over backward to make you happy and comfortable here. And yet, the night before the wedding, it is he who has run away to drown his sorrows and not you.”

  Clarry’s chest burned. “The night before—”

  “The duke has returned earlier than expected with the special license. No matter. The nuptials between you and Justin will be held at eleven tomorrow, regardless of the state of my sons head. After all the moaning and whimpering the pair of you have uttered in this room there is no chance of delay or escape. So don’t even consider changing your mind, Clarry.”

  At the duchess’s use of her shortened given name, Clarry looked up, studying the duchess. Despite the threat that had just crossed her lips, Her Grace appeared giddy with happiness. She fairly jumped from the bed and crossed the room to cup her hands about Clarry’s face. She smiled a little dreamily then drew Clarry into her arms.