Romancing the Earl Page 21

  “I have come to make peace with you.”

  “Peace? There is no peace for me or my daughter,” she insisted. “I will never be happy again without my darling girl.”

  “People die, Lady Berry. People die every day, and those left behind must pick up the pieces of our lives and continue on.”

  “Well, you’ve certainly done so,” she bit out. “Not six months since we buried her and you’re married already.”

  He moved to sit beside her but she moved away, clutching a gold chain and locket tightly in her hand, before he could.

  Price recognized it, as it had once belonged to Angela. She had worn it everywhere. It has been a gift from her mother, of course. A treasured keepsake that she’d foolishly believed brought good luck and security.

  Seeing that necklace again made Price smile. Angela had loved that locket and could never bear to leave it off. “I had imagined Angela would be buried with that. She loved the gift you gave her so much.”

  Lady Berry clutched it tighter in her fist. “It’s all I have of her.”

  He sat down finally and smiled sadly. “You had her love, and that is all we can ever have of anybody, when all is said and done.”

  “Do you think you have your wife’s love? Does she help you forget the promise you made to me the night Angela died?”

  “Yes,” he admitted. “Marrying Lenore was the best thing I ever did for my peace of mind. She has helped me put the past where it belongs. No matter how much I wish things were different, I doubt I could have prevented my godmother from murdering her. But if she had not, where would Angela and I have been, anyway? You never approved of me before she died. I doubt anything could have changed that, no matter how I tried to win you over. You would have insisted she marry anyone who possess a title greater than mine, and made her miserable.”

  Lady Berry bristled. “She would have done her duty to the family and made us proud.”

  Price arched one brow. “That is exactly what I have done, yet you condemn me for it. I married for the sake of my family. For the sake of my title, I chose a woman who would never bring dishonor on us. Lenore Griffin is no giggling debutant, but a woman of substance and good taste. She is caring, and she is kind, and she has more patience than any man could ever hope for.”

  “Spare me your gushing platitudes,” Lady Berry hissed.

  “She married me knowing that we were not in love, and she trusted me to take care of her and protect her. I would’ve done the same for Angela. But Angela has died, and I can’t do anything to change that. I have a right to be happy again and fall in love too.”

  “Stop.”

  “No. Let us begin again and call a truce to this war you’re waging against my reputation, and my wife’s. She doesn’t deserve to be ostracized because we don’t like each other.”

  Lady Berry drew breath, her expression becoming murderous. “I despise men like you. You get everything you want.”

  “If that were true, Angela would still be alive, madam.”

  “You don’t yet understand true loss!”

  “You see only your own suffering, don’t you? Angela never wanted you to be unhappy with her choice—and I was her choice, I assure you.” He sighed. “I knew you would never really warm to me but I tried for Angela’s sake. I offered to wait but Angela was an impatient, impulsive girl. She lived so full a life in so few years. I am grateful to have known her.”

  Lady Berry walked away from him to stare out the window. “You don’t mourn her.”

  Price stood, removed his coat and showed her the armband he wore beneath. “I wear this for all of them. For Angela, and for all the rest my godmother slaughtered.”

  Her eyes sharpened. “Does your wife know about the great love you claimed to feel for my daughter?”

  “Of course not. I’m not as cruel as you would have me be.”

  Her eyes narrowed on him. “How like a man to claim lies as a kindness. Well, she knows now.”

  “What did you do?” He advanced on Lady Berry. “What did you tell her, and when?”

  “I told her nothing short of the truth! I imagine you’ll have a frosty reception when you return home today and expect to climb into her bed.” Her eyes lit with triumph. “Did you know, too, that my good friend Lady Kelly swears that your wife tried to seduce an acquaintance of hers before you married? I’m sure it wasn’t the first time. Women like that—”

  Price grabbed her arm, intending only to shock her a little. “The scoundrel tried to seduce her. My wife told me all about it. She was innocent when she invited me to her bed. Believe me, I know the truth of that.”

  Lady Berry’s face colored a little. “How dare you speak of your wedding night to me?”

  “How dare you question my wife’s integrity?” Price looked around, attempting to cool his temper. They were at an impasse. No good could come from arguing with her further. They would never see eye to eye about the past. He had tried one last time, but he’d more important things to do. “I see I’ve come on a fool’s errand. I will bid you goodbye forever then, Lady Berry. I hope not to see you or speak to you ever again.”

  “I could only be so lucky,” Lady Berry added.

  “Good day, madam. I hope one day you can find the peace that you so obviously need.”

  He snatched up his coat and threw it on as he headed straight for the door, where he found the butler waiting with his hat in hand and a sour expression. “Take care of her, will you?” Price murmured to the man, glancing back at the woman who was weeping again behind him. Coming here had done no good. “Her daughter would have wanted that above all else.”

  He hailed a hack and paid them double to put a spring in the horse’s steps. He cursed himself for holding back when he should have been honest from the start. Lenore had been a little quiet before he left her to call on Lady Berry. And now she might be at home, thinking the worst of him.

  He may not have loved Lenore at all in the beginning, but he did now. He wanted to tell her everything he’d held back.

  He flew up the stairs and let himself in with his own key. Hero rushed to greet him…but there was no sign of Lenore in the house, no matter how long he looked for her.

  Chapter 21

  Lenore pushed her egg and ham around her plate, and then shoved it aside, largely uneaten. She wasn’t hungry. She was heartbroken. The pain in her heart was unbearable.

  She stared out the window of her bedchamber in Albemarle Street without really noticing the view wasn’t the usual one she had at home. She had left her husband yesterday, wearing only the clothes on her back. She hadn’t even the funds for carriage fare, so she’d walked the whole way.

  Lenore had turned her back on her marriage, believing she had no reason to stay with Price. She had not left word of where she was going or when she’d return. She could never return to live a lie with a man incapable of truly caring about her, until she had learned not to care about him as much. Price should have told her how things stood from the very beginning of their marriage, and not left her to find out the harsh truth for herself.

  He could never return her love the way she’d hoped.

  Yesterday, she had thought that taking charge of her life would make her feel better. Instead, the decision had just made her feel even more wretched. She’d come here to the Hillcrest cousins’ academy, believing it to be the safest place for her to be while she took stock of her position and decided what to do. She was a wife, yes, but also a countess, with more money in her reticule at home than she’d ever had in her entire life.

  She knew how to live simply if she had to, or she could be like every other member of the ton and live on credit.

  All she had decided so far was that she could not go home, or stay in London. She needed advice, a plan, before she spoke to him again. Sylvia had been helpful in the past, Lenore hoped she would be again. So she had asked her friends if she might stay the night at their home without revealing her reasons for it. But she would have to explain herself today.r />
  “Can I take your plate if you are finished, my lady?”

  Lenore startled, and then quickly smiled as she remembered she wasn’t alone. A servant had remained to straighten the bed she’d tossed and turned in all of last night. “Yes, please. I’m not hungry after all, although it looked delicious.”

  “I’ll tell Cook you said so,” the Hillcrest Academy maid promised as she repacked the tray and carried it to the door. She handed it off to a footman lingering outside and then returned. “Would you care to be dressed now, my lady.”

  Lenore glanced at her nightdress and nodded. “Yes, I suppose I should make myself ready.”

  The maid rushed to the bed, where her clothing from yesterday had been laid out in readiness to wear again. Each of the Hillcrest women had popped their heads around the door to bid her a good morning, but had left her when it became apparent her mood had not lightened overnight.

  It was just so devastating to realize how far away from having a happy marriage she had always been.

  She dressed with the maid’s help, noticing a hundred things about herself that she considered unflattering. The length of her ears when her hair was pinned up. The odd gray streak in her hair, especially. Why would Carmichael care for such a sack of unattractive old bones? As Lady Kelly and Lady Berry had insisted, there was little to recommend her when it came to her looks.

  All she had was her dignity and her pride, though both were sorely battered.

  “There you are, my lady,” the maid murmured. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

  “No, thank you.”

  The maid turned, and then picked up something from the dresser. “Your ring, my lady.”

  Lenore gave it a cursory glance and reached for the gold band. She put it on with reluctance, and only because it was the only piece of jewelry her husband had ever given her. She felt compelled to be careful with it until she was brave enough to return it.

  Armed with wavering resolve, she left the room to seek out the Hillcrest cousins. The hall floor had no rugs upon it and her footsteps were very loud in the quiet house. At this time of day, the cousins would probably be in the parlor together. She went down the stairs and knocked on the door softly.

  “Come in,” they called.

  Lenore stepped inside, and the moment she saw their expressions, instantly wished to cry. She could not do that yet. She wanted to explain herself first and ask for their advice before she fell apart.

  Sylvia patted the empty chair beside her. “You are just in time.”

  “For what?”

  “We are deciding what to do for the winter,” Eugenia said sadly.

  Lenore glanced at them all, her cares forgotten. “What do you mean?”

  “We’ve emptied every pocket we possess, looked under every pillow, but our combined funds will not be enough to cover the lease for the winter, and we have no other clients,” Sylvia advised.

  “The Hillcrest Academy is in dire need of new funds,” Eugenia announced.

  “No!” Lenore cried, stricken on their behalf.

  Eugenia pushed a penny around the tabletop. “We were foolish to believe we’d attract enough clients in our first year to fund the venture through the lean months ahead.”

  “But surely you have something set aside.” Lenore glanced at each lady, horrified.

  “We dare not dip too deeply into our inheritances. We promised when we started this venture that the bulk of those funds must remain untouched. They have to support us in our old age when we cannot work to support ourselves, too, you know.”

  Lenore’s heart broke for them. “Can I not help you in some way?”

  Eugenia covered her hand and smiled. “We knew you would want to help us, but we cannot beg money from a dear friend.”

  Sylvia smiled. “We have decided to separate for this winter and return to each other in the spring. Eugenia has been invited north to stay with the sister of one of our clients for the winter.”

  She looked at the other pair. “What of you two?”

  “Aurora will remain in London as a companion to another client’s elderly mother,” Eugenia told her. “I am sure she will be quite comfortable there, and needed too.”

  “And Sylvia?”

  “That is still up in the air,” Sylvia replied with a shrug. “I’m sure I’ll find something suitable soon.”

  “Stay with me,” Lenore suggested immediately.

  “Should you not discuss the matter with your husband?”

  “I doubt he will object,” Lenore decided. He’d probably not even notice, either. He was too busy running about London with his friends and mourning his one true love forever to care who she spent her time with. “We’ll have a marvelous time together in the country. I can’t wait to show you all my favorite places at Edenmere Park.”

  Eugenia’s brow rose. “Are you going to the country?”

  “With your husband?” Aurora asked.

  Lenore wet her lips. “Yes, I’m going home at last.”

  So she had decided her course of action, after all. She would return to the place she’d felt safe all her life—without her husband or his permission. She didn’t know what he intended to do with his life, nor did she need to concern herself with his feelings anymore. He hadn’t thought much of hers.

  Sylvia tugged her sleeve. “Are you really going?”

  Lenore forced a smile to her lips. “Absolutely.”

  “When?”

  “Very soon.”

  Sylvia picked up her hand. “I would love to visit your home for the winter, if I did not think going there would only make matters worse between you and your husband.”

  Lenore looked between the three women. “I never said—”

  “They already know, my dear. They guessed. You can trust us all to keep your secrets.” Sylvia gave her an encouraging smile. “We only want you to be happy.”

  “Dear lady, you didn’t have to say a thing to alert us,” Aurora murmured with a smile of understanding. “It’s easy to see you’re not happily married.”

  Tears threatened but she forced them away. “I was happy.”

  “Nonsense,” Eugenia declared. “But there’s no surprise or no need to dissemble. Arranged matches are rarely without challenges.”

  Lenore turned her attention to Sylvia, who smiled. “I swear I said nothing to either one. It’s our job to be observant. You haven’t been happy in a very long time.”

  Eugenia nodded. “Not since you were a companion to Lady Kerr before she died, I think.”

  “She was my first employer. Lady Kerr made me laugh,” Lenore admitted. “She used to play tricks on everyone who hadn’t called on her for a while—pretending to be deaf or blind to see what they’d do. How loud they’d shout at her.”

  “And your husband doesn’t make you laugh, does he?” Aurora frowned. “Because nothing short of complete misery would ever have compelled you to leave your beloved Hero behind yesterday and stay the night with us. I take it you reached the end of your tether?”

  Lenore concentrated on tracing the pattern of the tablecloth with her fingertip. “I couldn’t stay. I was too upset with him for deceiving me.”

  “How has he done that?”

  “Did you discover he has taken a mistress after all?” Sylvia asked.

  Lenore sighed. “If only it were that simple.”

  Aurora patted her hand. “You don’t have to tell us but if we don’t know what’s happened, we can’t plan for his demise. Something grizzly,” Aurora declared hotly, rubbing her hands together. “Something equal to his betrayal of you should be in order.”

  Lenore laughed bitterly. He’d be reunited with his beloved Angela in heaven if he died now. “Dying would only make him happy.”

  “Well, then we won’t chop him up into little pieces and feed him to the crows on the commons. Though I’m sure he wouldn’t be happy to be fodder for carrion.”

  Lenore lifted her face and met Aurora’s animated expression with a frown. “I’d
forgotten how bloodthirsty your imagination can be sometimes.”

  She winked. “The thoughts are always there. I just rarely express them out loud, or have reason to lately. Scares away the clients. But I would commit murder for a friend if there was a chance you might smile the way you used to again.”

  A tear fell down her cheek. “He’s in love.”

  The three women gasped.

  Lenore put her head into her hand. “If only I’d known before we married, but he didn’t say a word.”

  “Are you sure he loves her?”

  Lenore nodded miserably. “Sure. Certain. From his own lips too. I’m just a sorry replacement for the woman he really wanted to marry.”

  “I don’t believe that could be true,” Sylvia declared. “There’s always a chance you’re wrong about him.”

  “You’re always looking for the bright side, but my marriage is utterly unfixable.”

  There was silence around her, and she let the knowledge settle over her. She had been willing to be a wife, mother, lover, and a companion without the love of her husband. She’d known they might never fall for each other, but being second fiddle to a dead woman was too much to bear.

  She looked up suddenly. “Does my confession make me a client of the Hillcrest Academy now? I can pay you well to put me back together so he can never hurt me again. Perhaps then, you wouldn’t need to close your business and could stay together.”

  “That is a discussion for another time,” Eugenia murmured. “Lets talk about you for now.”

  They could not fix her marriage, but she’d let them try. Perhaps somehow she’d find a way to endure her marriage with their help and support. Talking to them about what she should do next with her life, she hoped, would lessen her pain.

  Sylvia slipped her arm around Lenore’s back and squeezed. “Everything is fixable.”

  “Not this,” she whispered. “My husband probably hasn’t even noticed my absence. He never came to find me. It shouldn’t have been too hard for him to suspect I might be here.”

  The women withdrew to confer just outside the room, and Lenore didn’t mind being left alone with her thoughts. She did wish that she hadn’t left her Hero behind, though, wondering where she’d gone. She would feel better if she had someone who loved her without hesitation by her side right now.