An Accidental Affair Page 20

  “You’re angry with her.”

  “I am.” His lips pursed and then he frowned. “She knows full well I’d never invite her. However, I have an idea that may turn this disaster around. We may not need to travel to Newberry Park at all if Aunt Penelope can be convinced to assist you.”

  Arabella nodded slowly. “If I had Lady Penelope’s support, the ton would never reproach me should Farnsworth’s stories have twisted and spread too far.” Her stomach fluttered. If all went well and Lady Penelope accepted her story as the truth, Merrick would be free to leave believing no further obligation existed between them. He needn’t have bothered with a rash marriage proposal after all. He could return to London.

  “I was more worried what she would say about us, but…” He shrugged and faced the door. “We’ll deal with the Farnsworth problem first and the other can wait until she asks why we are together still.”

  He frowned and the look on his face hinted he was trying to hide his feelings. He turned his face away when she smiled at him. They were together because she wanted to be with him. She liked him very much. She covered his hand with hers, but he wouldn’t look at her directly. Had she disappointed him so badly by not jumping on the chance to be his wife?

  She’d just gotten used to knowing what was going through his mind. He didn’t like anyone knowing his business, and she could help with that by keeping his secrets gladly. “I will join you soon and happily explain what she needs to know and not a word more.”

  He squeezed her fingers. “When she is gone, I’ll be at your disposal should you wish to speak again. I’d like a chance to convince you of my sincerity.”

  He kissed each of her palms and the feel of his lips against her skin caused her to smile. If she married him, she’d never feel undesirable. He had a way of turning each and every caress into a moment of worship. That side of a marriage between them would not be a chore. But was she ready to have another’s needs placed before her own?

  She swallowed. She honestly didn’t know. She wouldn’t lie to him. She certainly wouldn’t marry just because of lust. “Of course.”

  Merrick smiled quickly, kissed her cheek, and then hurried to the door to receive his visitor. He didn’t meet her gaze again as he slipped out, his steps echoing through the house. Arabella folded to the nearest chair and put her head in her hands. “My life is mad.”

  How had she gone from hoping for a kind lover to teach her the intimate arts to disappointing a rogue?

  The door opened again and when Arabella peeked up, a gray head of hair had poked through the gap. “An intriguing parting,” Lady Penelope Ford mused as she locked the door behind her. “Lady Penelope Ford, at your service. You may call me Pen if you like.”

  Arabella gasped as panic gripped her. Lady Penelope Ford was supposed to be in the drawing room, taking tea and waiting to meet Merrick. There was no way to avoid a scandal now. She’d have heard them talking. She would know Merrick had just proposed and received no answer.

  Lady Penelope looked around curiously. “So this is the bedchamber all of London will talk of in the coming weeks. Hmm, quite ordinary really for so scandalous a situation.”

  Arabella held Merrick’s banyan a little tighter about her chest. “Lady Penelope. What brings you to Winslette?”

  “Rothwell disappeared from London without warning. You also were reported missing. Is that not reason enough to become curious?” The lady shrugged. “Rumors have a habit of altering when it comes to my nephew. For instance, it’s been suggested he’d turned over a new leaf this season and become somewhat respectable. I see now the gossips were utterly wrong.”

  Some of Arabella’s panic ebbed. She had to keep her wits about her. She was facing one of the most influential women of the ton. “Oh?”

  “Hmm, yes. My nephew was known for his, well… there is no delicate way to put it. Merrick has always been considered something of a scoundrel around women, much as his father was in his day. He used them, and then he tossed them aside should they become too demanding of his affections.” Lady Penelope inspected her nephew’s room with a disdainful eye. “So many have thought an affair might lead to an offer of marriage, but he fooled them all. Now, of course, he’s set his cap too high. Many in the family thought he’d simply run out of ways to scandalize the world, but it seems he set himself a challenge in you.”

  A tight pain filled Arabella’s chest. Lady Penelope believed Merrick’s past affairs had everything to do with her decision not to marry him. That wasn’t the case. Arabella doubted her own feelings more than his. “He’s nothing like what you suggest.”

  Lady Penelope grimaced. “My dear, I do know what I’m talking about. I’m here to keep you safe from scandal that will follow this unwise affair. Why else would I come so far out of my way? We will say you were with me the entire time and no one need know my nephew seduced you.”

  Arabella moved slowly toward the door and unlocked it. Lady Penelope’s behavior disappointed her. She’d condemned her nephew without cause and believed him a heartless seducer. Of course he had enjoyed many women before her, but he wasn’t a cruel man. What sort of rogue bedded a widow, found her a virgin, and then proposed marriage? Merrick was the best of men. It was Arabella who had been the disappointment and she couldn’t help it. “I have little desire for your help when you think so meanly of your own family. Why would I want your aid?”

  Lady Penelope’s smile grew brittle. “I have always been eager to help you. Merrick is a man and has made it very clear that he can take care of himself. As they all will do. Being an unwilling party to the scandals my family has engaged in makes me aware of the value of a reputation and what it costs to have lost one.”

  Arabella folded her arms across her chest. “Forgive me, but we are strangers to one another. I don’t know you.”

  Penelope smiled briefly. “We are similar creatures. We accept the restrictions of our society but still suffer from them. I hesitated to offer my support in London when I came to Merrick’s town house, because I was not entirely sure he had you enthralled. I apologize for that. If you would dress in a more appropriate fashion, we can be underway.”

  “I am dressed as appropriately as I wish to be in my own bedchamber. You are the uninvited interloper.”

  “This is my nephew’s bedchamber, is it not, and you are wearing a man’s banyan, my dear.” Lady Penelope came closer and fingered the material of the sleeve. “I’m in a position to know it’s Merrick’s garment.”

  Arabella held her ground. It was time to stop this now. “I think you should leave my home.”

  The door flew open. “You meddling old sow,” Merrick growled. “What the hell are you doing here?”

  When he faced the door to shut it, a brief smile crossed the older woman’s face. “Not one of your best, boy. Cool your heels a little longer. Lady Farnsworth and I are negotiating.”

  Merrick made an angry, inarticulate sound.

  “Always so stubborn and hot-tempered,” Lady Penelope chided. “His mother was a much calmer girl.”

  Merrick was not hot-tempered at all. The only people Arabella had ever heard him disagree with were other Fords and her brother-in-law. She didn’t know everything about Merrick yet, but he seemed a reasonable man. He just wanted his family to leave him in peace. “There is nothing to negotiate besides the method of your leaving. As far as I can tell, you can leave under your own steam or with his help.”

  Merrick snorted. “I see you’re employing your usual charm to win Arabella over.”

  Lady Penelope’s eyes narrowed to slits as her gaze flickered between them. “So, you’ve decided to throw over good sense and discard propriety?”

  It only took a moment to decide. “Yes, Merrick has shown me nothing but kindness. You are so wrong about him.”

  Lady Penelope smirked. “So you will accept his proposal and become his wife?” She shook her head. “That should be a crowded affair, considering Lady Mary and Miss Milne both expect an offer of marriage immediate
ly on his return to London. He’s been very plainly interested in both young ladies. So attentive to them both, but do remember he can choose only one to share his bed legally.”

  “Hold your tongue,” Merrick snapped at his aunt, hands curling into fists at his side.

  Arabella’s mouth fell open as it became clear Merrick couldn’t refute his aunt’s claim that he’d been courting two specific young ladies in Town. Likely while she’d been under his very roof. He’d gone in and out so frequently, but she’d never suspected anything had progressed to the point where a proposal was expected.

  Her stomach turned over. He’d never said a word and then had the bad taste to offer a proposal she should not accept. Arabella was stunned that he hadn’t mentioned any of it. He’d had ample time and opportunity.

  Lady Penelope smiled a little sadly. “It is always important to have all the facts. Don’t you agree, Lady Farnsworth? But I am here now, and I will do what I can to stem the damage. London is so rushed at this time of year that hopefully few should connect you both. Merrick has made a mess of this, but with my support any harm to your reputation can be restored.”

  Merrick crossed the room and stopped close to her side. “I’d like a chance to explain.”

  Arabella turned away, devastated that she’d blundered so badly into Merrick’s life. She couldn’t even blame him for seducing her when she’d all but thrown herself into his bed. “He did nothing. It’s my fault.”

  Lady Penelope clucked her tongue. “Now, my dear, I’m sure that is simply not the case. I’m told kindness can often be mistaken for a deeper affection. You’re not the first to be duped.”

  Arabella pressed her cold hand to her hot brow. “I was a fool.”

  “No, you were not,” Merrick insisted, spinning her around to face him again. “Arabella, I never lied to you.”

  When she looked into his eyes, Arabella’s confusion wavered. He seemed sincere, but how could he be? He’d led two young ladies on while dallying with her. He should have remained in London rather than escorting her here. Why hadn’t he? They’d not been intimately involved in London, and now things were even more complicated.

  “An omission is a lie,” Lady Penelope added. “Come to London with me for what remains of the season, Lady Farnsworth. If you remain here as his tenant, the scandal will never go away.”

  Arabella hesitated. She did not want to become a pawn in any disagreement, but if she stayed here then she would likely be in the thick of it all.

  Merrick raked his hands through his hair and glared at his aunt. “Damn you. Why couldn’t you just stay away?”

  Lady Penelope offered a wry smile. “Because you are family, and no matter what happens, the family reputation always comes first,” she said simply. “Lady Farnsworth is a little wiser now, and I’m content. I’ll return below and wait for her.”

  She glided out, leaving them alone again.

  Merrick hurried to squeeze her hands as if she might need comforting. “The situation is not exactly how she painted it.”

  “Then how is it exactly? You have a special license in your possession. You have raised the expectations of two young women to the point where they await a proposal. How could you think so little of their feelings that you begin with me?”

  He grabbed her by the arms and steered her to the nearest chair. Although she disliked allowing him to push her about, she needed the chair and sat gratefully.

  He knelt at her feet as he’d done the night she’d sought shelter in his home. Her throat closed at the memory. “I do have a special license. My grandfather sent it to me, as he sent one to every grandson he has. I have admired you from afar for a long time and never considered I’d have a chance to win your affections. Yes, I began the season looking for a bride. I had not settled on either of the women my aunt mentioned. Then I kissed you by mistake and then you needed me. I liked that better than finding myself a bride. I acted selfishly, I admit.”

  A little of her disappointment faded. He had been a friend when she’d needed one most and it was Arabella who had changed things. All she needed to do now was prepare to make as graceful an exit as possible. “It seems my friendship has come at a high price to you. You had plans that I’ve blundered into.”

  “I’ve not offered for anyone but you.”

  She nodded, but it made no difference. “But you should. Lady Mary is a lovely girl, very pretty and a great conversationalist, and young. Her father is well connected and her dowry is large. She would make an excellent countess.”

  He shook his head. “I asked you to marry me.”

  “I have not agreed.” She gathered her strength, stood, and faced the window. “You would do better with Lady Mary. Your family expects the match and more importantly so does she.”

  Merrick was on his feet in an instant. He grabbed her arms and turned her to face him again. “I will not offer for Lady Mary or anyone else. I want to marry you and grow as close as two people in love could be. I hope you will place no faith in anything else my aunt may have said.”

  “No. I am capable of making up my own mind.” Arabella met his gaze, her chest hurting badly for the end of their affair. She would not continue to see him when he had two women waiting for him to propose to them. “I thank you for your kind offer, sir, but I must decline.”

  When he ran his fingers through his hair, Arabella longed to straighten it again. “I feared it was too soon.”

  “No, Merrick, it is far too late.” She sighed deeply. “Your aunt has invited me to spend some time with her and I feel that is a sensible decision.”

  “Well, I do not.” He took a deep breath and drew her into the circle of his arms. “I am in love with you, Arabella, and I will prove my worth. Wait and see.”

  His kiss was urgent and left Arabella breathless. When he left with no further mention of marriage, Arabella’s throat closed. A surge of unfamiliar longing swept her.

  Was it because he was a good man that she refused? She would not be the cause of his loss of honor. He had raised a young woman’s expectations past the point of turning back. He should marry Lady Mary or Miss Milne. He should make either one love him. It would be easy.

  She tightened his banyan about her body and rubbed he hands over the rich material. She would never have his arms about her again and already she missed that. Merrick had given Arabella everything she needed to be happy and safe. She owed him for his protection and for overlooking her omission of her virginity. But with all he’d done, all he’d promised and delivered, that did not mean a marriage between them was in his best interests.

  CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

  Merrick did his best to keep a civil tongue in his head, but his aunt’s continued references to Lady Mary and Miss Milne before Arabella set his teeth on edge. Arabella was much too pale, much too timid now. She would not meet his eye, and if Aunt Pen kept bringing up the misunderstanding, she might never look at him again.

  Luckily, Grayling and his wife had arrived unannounced and ended any plans to travel that day. Merrick had already had the carriage put away again and was biding his time until he could speak to Arabella alone. He was not going to marry Miss Milne or Lady Mary. Neither of them were Arabella, but there were two other reasons he wouldn’t change his mind.

  First, Arabella had accepted his half brothers’ existence with not even a ripple of distress. She’d even guessed about Holland. Then there was her kindness to young Danny to consider. There was no reason for the boy to be lodged in the house. He would be perfectly comfortable in the stables with Jimmy and the others. Placing young Danny beside Holland in Winslette House had won his brothers over completely.

  Second, until presented with the omitted details of his hunt for a bride, she’d stood up to Aunt Penelope. The first woman he’d ever witnessed doing so and that moment had been glorious. She might not have answered his proposal of marriage the way he’d hoped, but she wouldn’t listen to false criticism. But then the tables had turned against him, and he’d been battling
just to have her look at him.

  He should not have rushed his proposal. He should have waited, as he’d suspected was the right course from the beginning. He tried to catch her eye one more time, but she turned toward her visitors instead. “Gray, I need to speak with you in private,” he whispered.

  Grayling frowned. “About Miss Milne or Lady Mary?”

  He scowled at his aunt. She’d done her work well if even Grayling had picked up on those names. “Neither.”

  Grayling’s wife had a talent for deflecting discussion to the three little girls surrounding her—the apples of their father’s eye and also their new mother’s. The middle child, Maisy, wasn’t so docile as to sit still. She climbed onto Arabella’s lap and snuggled against her. His heart skipped a beat at the expression of tenderness on Arabella’s face. She appeared completely enthralled by the little girl, her eyes growing soft and full of love. Merrick wanted that for Arabella so badly his heart ached. To make her part of his family so she would never be alone again and might, if they were lucky, have a daughter of their own. “Would you come with me?”

  He led Grayling into the quieter library and shut the door. “Arabella refused my offer of marriage, thanks, I believe, in no small part to my aunt’s presence and her accusations that I’d raised hopes in those two young ladies she keeps mentioning.”

  Suddenly, Grayling was before him, his hand fisted in his cravat, his expression furious. “I don’t care what your aunt has to say. That isn’t good enough for Arabella. Ask again.”

  Merrick fought to free himself and put distance between them. “Believe me, I have not changed my mind about wanting to marry her. I’m just not certain that what I say is getting through anymore. She believes my aunt’s accusations that I led those women on. I paid little more interest than any man considering marriage. Let me explain how things began, and perhaps you can suggest a way forward.”

  He told Grayling almost everything that had occurred over the past weeks, leaving out nothing of what he’d done in his search for a bride and why he believed Arabella was the better choice. They were good together. He did leave off mention of Arabella’s virginity and the recent loss of it when they became lovers. That was private and would remain between them alone. “My aunt has managed to turn Arabella’s trust from me and has convinced her to leave Winslette. I had not meant for that to happen. When I bought the estate, it was with the understanding that this would always be her home.”