An Affair of Honor (Rebel Hearts Book 2) Read online

  She groaned. “More shopping? Captain, you have already spent too much on me.”

  “That’s one.” He drew closer to her, warming to the idea of spanking her again and then spoiling her afterward. Something light in a pale shade of pink to accent her blushes would be just the thing. “If you believe that, then you will be surprised to learn I have not spent a tenth on you yet that is not already spent on my youngest sister for her come-out next year.”

  Her eyes widened. “Surely not.”

  He nodded. “I have seen the bills of sale for Evelyn, and it is far larger than your upkeep. Besides, is it not my privilege to pay your expenses for the next two years as part of our arrangement?”

  “I suppose. But I already have more gowns than I can possibly wear.”

  “Nonsense.” He glanced around. “We shall see what else I think you need today.”

  Matilda leaned back from him, resting one hand on the bed so that her nightgown slid down, exposing her shoulder. “You are disturbingly opinionated about my wardrobe.”

  “I am.” He liked knowing she wore what he chose, but that bold pose was causing him to thicken in his trousers beyond his ability to stop it. He would be counting all day at this rate. “That will not change. Matilda, you should understand your husband. I do have strong opinions about how a lady should look. I don’t agree that her assets”—he glanced down at her bustline—“should be on show for just anyone to admire. I prefer modesty in a woman’s attire in public. We may not be married for life, but I intend to protect you from any unwanted attention. Even my own.”

  She smiled a little and gave a halfhearted laugh. Her gaze flickered downward, and then her eyes widened. She swallowed as she stared at his hips, or rather the bulge of his erection growing beyond his control between them. Her lips parted a little, and there wasn’t chance he could restrain his arousal when she stared at him like that.

  “Matilda, look at my face.”

  She glanced up quickly, though her eyes were wide. She licked her lips, swallowed, and then darted another look at his arousal. She sat up, and his breath caught as she drew near. What would she do? Ignore his condition or explore him?

  He hoped the former since they had appointments to keep.

  “So you sent those three gowns back to the modiste because they were immodest?” She clenched her hands in her lap and looked up into his eyes. “Evelyn was very enthusiastic about the design and colors.”

  “Far too revealing. You must remember that a gentleman of greater height than you could have been granted a most extraordinary view of your cleavage that he would not have deserved.” He took in that same view but kept his hands back. Now was not the moment for indulgence, but he had always enjoyed the anticipation of touching the things he craved.

  Matilda’s gaze flickered from his face and back to his arousal. “I liked how I looked in those gowns.”

  His cock twitched. “So did I, which is why they went back.” He stroked his fingers over the exposed skin of her leg. “Far too tempting, like you appear now.”

  Matilda glanced up at him, eyes wide, and then glanced down at her bare legs where he touched her. For a change she did not seek to cover herself. Her legs were slightly parted, revealing the softness of her inner thighs.

  “I should get dressed,” she whispered.

  “Indeed, but first a kiss to start the day, just to make sure I have this right.” He cupped her face and kissed her softly, moving his lips over hers in a gentle possession.

  Matilda kissed him back after a moment. She was shy, very hesitant to touch him, so he ended the kiss with no regrets. But he was painfully aroused, as he had been last night by the time he’d left her in bed. Kissing Matilda made him long for more. For permanence, passion, and punishment as a regular part of his life. But he wanted a willing partner who knew all his vices. Someone who would enjoy those private moments, anticipate the next ones as much as he would.

  Someone willing to be tied up, masked, and disciplined properly with an array of implements before being pleasured all night long.

  He drew Matilda to her feet and without further discussion dressed her in a modest gown of sky blue even though he ached to run his hands along her arms and bind her with silk strips. He clenched his hands, forcing them to his sides. “Reticule, hat, gloves.”

  Matilda spun around at his tone. “William, what have I done wrong?”

  “Nothing at all. The fault is mine.” He went too fast, as usual. He took a deep breath and forced a smile. “I’ll be below in the little parlor. Do not make me wait long.”

  He turned away quickly and hurried from her presence. He wanted Matilda to want him as he did her. He though he wanted her to stay beyond the time of their bargain. But was it possible to convince her that their marriage was the best thing that could have happened to either of them? Could he persuade her to explore every dark sin and vice he craved forever?

  Sixteen

  “What is this place?” Matilda asked for the third time as William unlocked the front door and gestured her inside. The cold hit her first and then the emptiness of an abandoned country house. “Does anyone live here?”

  She shivered when the front door groaned closed again as William shut them inside. His footfalls rang loudly as he led the way. “This could very well be home if my man of affairs is correct about the suitability of the space.”

  “My home?”

  “I suppose you could say that.”

  She glanced up at the cobwebs drifting on the currents created by the opening of the door. It could take a long time to bring this place up to scratch. She almost rubbed her hands together at the challenge of so much work to occupy her time. “This might be a bit large just for me. I wanted to stay closer to the city.”

  “It occurred to me that it would be a good time to invest in property. I have no faith that my involvement with the navy will suddenly increase, even if I were to pester the admiralty daily for a new command and ship. I have time to spare and am in need of a diversion. I have lived in my grandfather’s homes for ten years, but I will eventually need additional income to support a family. This will be my first investment.”

  “You’ll move here?” The idea of William living so far from London seemed impossible. He had friends in London. Family. It had taken an hour by carriage just to reach this place.

  “For now, and there will be others to manage.” He nodded and set his hand to the doorframe, smiling down at her, his expression unreadable. “After the separation, you will remain mistress here if the house pleases you. If not, you can choose another closer to town.”

  She blushed and glanced away. He had said they would discuss the separation, but she had not expected the conversation today. Not after last night’s spanking, which she was ashamed to say she had thoroughly enjoyed, or after this morning’s flirting, which had appeared to arouse them both.

  William had left her breathless and strangely happy both times. Especially the part after the spanking where he’d held her close to his chest. The tenderness after the punishment had been a revelation about him. She had not thought he wanted her affection, but he had proved otherwise. Matilda had been the first to pull away. She wished she’d not done so soon after. She would have liked to spend the night in his arms, but he had taken himself off and she’d fallen asleep alone.

  She had missed him. She had missed his occasional snores and odd twitches.

  Matilda took stock of the features of the property even as she was astounded by her own revelation. She did miss William when he was elsewhere. However, she was merely a temporary part of his life, just like this property would be the first of many conquests. Her life with him would come to a close very soon, and he would eventually have a real family.

  His beautiful sisters had three firm contenders for their hand in marriage so far that she could tell. Victoria had charmed an aged duke, Audrey a gentleman of modest means, and Evelyn, even though she was not out in society yet, had charmed an entire horde of gentlemen
as they called on her sisters. Her bargain with William could be over before long. “When we made our bargain, I hadn’t considered moving so far.”

  “And you don’t have to if you don’t wish to. I have already enquired about a house in London that might suit you. It is one extra block farther away from my family than where we currently live. Close enough that you will not be removed from the friends you make in society in the coming months. Remember, you’re my wife until my sisters marry, and no matter how long that takes it is my intention that we stay friends.”

  “I would like that too,” she whispered. The discussion of endings made her sad though. She glanced around, studying the raw space with fresh eyes. It needed a great deal of attention to make it a home, and making it suitable for William could be a good distraction from thinking about the future.

  “For as long as we decide to remain married, I would have you comfortable, and I am also thinking beyond that too for my own life,” William said.

  He moved away, drawing her attention to his body. A body she had seen very little of but had imagined when she was alone.

  “This room should do for a drawing room,” he said, “and those rooms for a study and dining room.”

  She moved slowly through the house in his wake, imagining it how William described. Soft reds and muted greens would make the house very pleasant. Not that she expected to have a say in the decoration if William moved into the space before their parting.

  He moved on, opened two sets of doors, and stepped into a glass-walled room. “This space should be sufficient for your butterfly house.”

  Her jaw dropped. “How did you know I like butterflies?”

  “I’ve made it my business to discover everything I can about you since the day we met. You are fascinated by butterflies.” He smiled slowly, and the effort transformed his face. Her heart did a little leap and he leaned close. “You used to chase after them whenever you came on our picnics. Hands in the air, you’d leave us behind in an attempt to lure them to kiss your skin.”

  She stared at him in surprise. “You always became angry with me for that.”

  “For wandering away into the woods alone with only butterflies for company. You could have been left behind a few times if I’d not missed your being underfoot.” He brushed her cheek with his fingertips. “I spoke to Lord Deacon about his country butterfly house, and he assures me it is possible to have them here. If I go through with the purchase, he will arrange to have a man come and fill the space with what is needed for their survival. It will be up to you to see that they thrive.”

  Her eyes stung at his words. She had not expected him to have noticed or remembered what she had done in her first year of service. In her first year she’d occasionally forgotten that she was not meant to enjoy herself on their outings. But she had always loved chasing after the small winged creatures to study their design and colors. Giving her a part of his house to keep as her own was the kindest thing William had ever done for her and completely unexpected. Yet he turned away the next moment as if to make light of how great a gift he’d just delivered.

  Matilda flew after him, wrapped her arms about his body, pinning his arms at his sides. He stiffened in her awkward embrace, but Matilda didn’t care. She squeezed him tightly, uncaring if she’d be in trouble or not later. “Thank you,” she whispered against his back. “A thousand times thank you for remembering.”

  He turned in her arms and drew her against his chest. “I am glad you like the idea. This is the only property I have seen with an existing enclosure, so I hope it will suit. Deacon’s man will let me know if I must continue the search or not. They are few and far between.”

  He’d turned down other places simply because they hadn’t met her needs? But why? In a year they might not be married. “It will be beautiful. I promise.”

  “Not as lovely as you, but I look forward to seeing you dance with them again.” His lips pressed together hard. Was he ashamed he’d watched her in the woods before calling out? She’d known he was there, hiding in the shadows of tall trees. She had smiled and kept dancing, completely forgetting her place until he’d ordered her back.

  She expected him to retreat into gruffness immediately now, but he caught a curl of hair hanging down her neck and played with it. A slow smile spread over his face, and laughter filled his eyes. “Perhaps one day if I am very lucky you might invite me to dance in the woods with you too. There is a copse of trees to the west of here.”

  “I would like that,” she said. Imagining him twirling with her under the trees brought a blush to her cheeks, and she patted his chest. He was always uncomfortable when it came to expressing his feelings, as if he expected to be rebuffed, but then so was she when it came to him. Matilda forgave William his earlier gruffness because she could now understand his hesitation to reveal his softer feelings. Hers were growing for William in a way that threatened to spread well beyond their arrangement.

  She had grown to like her husband.

  Matilda rose up on her toes, and before she considered whether he’d like it or not caught the back of his head and dragged him down so she could kiss him full on the lips.

  He appeared startled at first but soon took charge, moving her toward a wall and pressing her into it with the strength of his body. His kiss was hungry and thorough, demanding her response in his usual dominant fashion, a manner that Matilda had grown to crave. She did not want him turning to other women to scold them. She wanted him to reserve his punishments and attention for her.

  She broke the kiss, turned her lips to his scarred cheek, and kissed him there. “I would dance with you anywhere, Billy.”

  He shuddered at the name, and as she trailed her lips along the full length of his injury, she grew aware that his hands were tightening around her waist. His skin was rough against her lips, coarse but warm. He was becoming very familiar, and she wanted more, to explore him if he was willing to indulge her curiosity.

  She slipped her arms about his waist beneath his coat and pulled him close, overwhelmed by the need to feel him firm against her skin. Last night, pinned by his strength and passions, had been wonderful—arousing and painful—and yet her heart had never felt lighter as she’d reclined in his arms afterward.

  She nibbled his earlobe and he groaned.

  He jerked up her skirts and squeezed her thigh roughly, grinding his hips against hers. She felt, for the first time, the part of him he kept hidden beneath his clothes. She aroused him, and he tried so hard to keep her ignorant of all his desires.

  His hand moved along her sides restlessly, sending her pulse flying. “Don’t tempt me, woman.”

  “Billy Boy,” she said again as his hand slid over her rear.

  He squeezed, his breathing rough and unsteady against her throat. Matilda gasped and pressed her head against the wall as William nibbled at her throat.

  She marveled at the power of his lips and body to overwhelm her senses, but his reluctance to take his own satisfaction with her was troubling. At first she had been embarrassed to notice his erection. Proper women were not supposed to consider such things or mention them. However, she did not imagine that many married men would be capable of holding back for so long.

  She ached for his touch already even though her urges had been satisfied last night.

  William kissed her neck up to her hairline and tormented her senses with a flick of his tongue behind her ear. He drew back. “Say it again. Once more.”

  One more impertinence would see her punished. He’d warned her of his limits. Three remarks he didn’t care for would provoke him beyond reason. And he hated being called Billy.

  The idea of deliberately goading him simply to be spanked held a definite appeal. He liked to spank her. Matilda loved to see him reveal his hidden nature when he turned her over his knee.

  “Billy,” she whispered into his ear.

  William shuddered against her, cock rubbing directly against her sex in a way that made her ache intensify. He lifted her into
his arms and carried her toward the front hall. He stopped there, placed her on her feet, and turned her to face the locked front door.

  “Are we leaving already?”

  “Hands on the brass knobs and no further questions.”

  Matilda trembled at his angry tone but complied because she wanted this.

  William rearranged her stance until her bottom stuck out toward him, then lifted her skirts high. “You know how I feel about that name.”

  “Yes, William. You’ll punish me for using it.”

  “I must. Are you ready?”

  The first time he’d given her no warning, the second she’d been already overwhelmed by their conversation. This time Matilda knew exactly what it would feel like to have his hand beat against her skin. And she wanted it. She wanted to feel William.

  “Yes, Billy Boy.”

  “Count silently until the pain becomes too much to bear, then tell me the number.” The first strike was immediate and hard. It shook her from head to toe and stung like the very devil. The next and following strikes alternated from one cheek to the other, without pause or any hesitation. She’d unlocked the devil in William, and there was no stopping him now. She didn’t even want to.

  She counted until her bottom began to hurt in earnest, and when it became too much she peeked back over her shoulder. William’s attention was fixed on her rear, and he was smiling like she’d never seen him before.

  His eyes lifted to hers, and his hand froze in midair. “How many?”

  “Thirty-three,” she managed to get out even as she was on the verge of tears. Her body ached. Trembled from his touch and desire for more.

  “Stay like that,” he whispered before dropping to his knees.

  He kissed around her hurts gently and then burrowed his face between her legs to kiss her throbbing quim. She gasped at the shock of his actions, but as his tongue lapped at her wetness, she arched her back even more as he teased her clitoris.