Reason to Wed (The Distinguished Rogues Book 7) Page 13

  She swallowed. “Do give your sister my best and thank you for coming so far to see me.”

  Was she dismissing him? No, she bloody well wasn’t. He moved across the room and squeezed onto the chaise beside her legs. “There are still things I need to say to you.”

  Her gaze grew wary. “Such as.”

  Despite the tone of her words, the practiced phrases came rushing back, but he took a deep breath before repeating them. “Esme, what happened between us at the house party haunts me. I have not stopped thinking of you. I enjoyed our time together very much. I came to specifically ask you to give me another chance.”

  She winced suddenly and her hand flew to her middle, fingers splaying over her belly.

  It took a moment for his brain to register that it was not a pillow she clutched to her stomach.

  His eyes widened. There was a bump beneath that quilt. One he couldn’t dismiss as a product of his imagination. What the devil was she hiding under there?

  He reached for the quilt covering her body and slowly drew it back, despite her efforts to keep herself covered. He struggled to breathe. There was nothing beneath the quilt but Esme—and her belly was large, rounded with the evidence of a significant development. One she’d sworn was not possible.

  Esme was with child.

  She slipped from the chaise and put distance between them. “A gentleman usually asks a lady for permission before exposing them to the discomfort of a cold room.”

  “Usually I would.”

  She licked her lips. “I was about to tell you.”

  He stood but could only stare at her stomach. Lying down as she had been, smothered by a quilt and hidden beneath many pillows had concealed her condition upon his arrival. But he had noted the changes in her face. Standing with sunlight bathing her in a soft glow, however, revealed quite the bump where her babe rested. She was gloriously pregnant. Quite far enough along that…

  He swallowed to ease the sudden dryness of his mouth.

  She was quite far enough along that he could be the child’s father very easily. He sank down on the chaise as shock took the strength from his legs.

  Why hadn’t Esme written him? She must have known he’d be overjoyed.

  He glanced at her face, discovering her calm and composed now despite his shock. He would do the right thing. Surely she knew his character, and his heart, well enough to understand he would marry her immediately if given half the chance. She was what he’d come for after all.

  His mind spun with horror that he might never have known if he’d followed through with her choices. If he’d married anyone on her list, their child would have been a born a bastard. That couldn’t be allowed to happen.

  She exhaled loudly then moved to a sideboard, poured a large amount of spirit into a glass and then thrust it at him. “It does take some getting used to.”

  Richard drained the whiskey in one gulp. “How?”

  Esme laughed, a panicked sound that drove away the shock filling him.

  “Sorry,” he muttered quickly. “Of course I know how. I meant to say how long before the birth?”

  “Some months yet. The doctor believes around Easter.”

  He glanced at her stomach again and made a quick calculation. He grinned. The child must be his. He stood immediately. Once, he’d been completely taken in by a woman who claimed to be carrying his child. Esme had exposed the lie, but he’d been left feeling a fool.

  This time, he intended to know without a shadow of a doubt. Besides he was desperate to touch her and end the awkwardness between them.

  Richard stretched forth his fingers and touched the bump. Esme’s stomach was hard beneath his fingertips, rather than the softness of a pillow that might have been bound about her waist if she wished to pretend to a pregnancy. He breathed a sigh of relief at the resistance and warmth he encountered.

  Esme wasn’t the type to pretend anything.

  She would be a mother at last and he was unbelievably happy to discover it. He spread his fingers over her thick velvet gown, curving them around her belly, fully intending to explore this change in her body thoroughly, lost in wonder of the new life growing inside her.

  Esme backed up a few steps. “It’s true.”

  “Come back here. I’m not done with you yet. A very wise woman once told me I had to look beneath the surface.” He followed her retreat, aware he was all but chasing her around the room.

  “Are you not needed back in London?”

  Stubborn, foolish woman. They made quite the pair. “To find this elusive perfect woman you spoke of? Esme, I came here today to again ask you to marry me.”

  Her eyes widened and her breath caught.

  He peered into her face, seeing at last how uncertain she was. “I was prepared to wait out the banns, but since there is a child involved, I insist we return to London immediately so I can acquire a special license. We will be married before the week is out and then I’ll take you home to Windermere, where you belong, so we can spend Christmas there together. Where you are needed and wanted.”

  She lifted her hand to her temple. Richard pressed his advantage and draped an arm about her shoulders, drawing her near. “Come now, surely you can see the sense in a match between us. The child will have a father, and my name. You can take over the running of the house from Jillian without any difficulty. You’ve always stepped in when needed in the past and Jillian is very fond of you. She already loves you as a sister.”

  She broke away. “Is that enough for you?”

  Richard stared at her stiff back in irritation. “How about the reason to wed being I am still completely, irrevocably, in love with you?”

  Her head turned the slightest amount. “How could you love me still after I sent you away? I ran from you.”

  “So you did and I’m sure then you believed it the right thing to do. I did what you demanded of me too. I met with Lady Beauchamp and the whole damned list. Wined, dined and discovered I didn’t care one whit more for them at the end than at the beginning of our acquaintances. Why didn’t you come back to me?”

  Her shoulders tensed and then she rubbed her finger over her lip. “I was afraid to believe I was pregnant for a long time, and then I was more afraid I wouldn’t keep it. I’ve been quite unwell, you see. At all hours. Women lose children every day and I didn’t dare travel. I was so afraid that if I left here, I’d ruin this one chance I had.”

  His heart flipped at the tremor of fear behind her words. “Nothing will go wrong, and if it does, I’ll bear the disappointment with you.”

  Esme sniffed.

  He drew her into his arms, quite alarmed by her behavior. “I don’t give a damn about anything but you. I don’t care what you said before or why you left. You are the most vexing, frustrating, exciting woman I’ve ever known. I love you with all my heart and soul. Marry me. Please, Esme. I don’t want to lose you again.”

  If he had imagined Esme would accept him immediately, he was bound to be disappointed. She didn’t utter a word.

  He gently set his hands over her shoulders. “I will camp outside your door, follow you everywhere like a pathetic, lovelorn fool. I cannot pretend I don’t care for you as much as I do. Berate me, scold me all you like, but I’m here and I’m not leaving without my wife.”

  Irritated beyond belief by her continued silence, he raised her face to his. Tears streaked down her cheeks as she silently wept.

  Damn it, that wasn’t the response he’d been hoping for when he’d confessed how she’d changed him. He hadn’t meant to upset her. He’d come to win her over and make her his own once and for all.

  Richard crushed her against him. “Don’t cry.”

  She burst out in loud, fresh sobs. “I cry at everything.”

  “Oh,” he whispered, uncertain if that boded good or ill for their future. He’d never known her to shed a single tear, real or pretend, until their last night together. It was one of the many things he’d liked about her. She did not resort to sentimental theatrics
to get her way. This new Esme, his soon-to-be wife and future mother of his child, would undoubtedly take some getting used to.

  As he held her, peace settled over him. He could be reasonable. Wasn’t Esme worth any sacrifice? “Well, continue if you like. I’m sure I can grow used to it.”

  Her sobbing renewed in strength and she buried her face against his neckcloth. She clutched his waistcoat and because it was Esme, and he was in love with the woman, he held her against him tightly and left her to it.

  When she quieted, he moved a hand to touch her belly again. The knowledge Esme would bear his child gave him so much satisfaction he couldn’t begin to describe it. He’d hoped but had never dared picture this day. A soft laugh left him. “You really were the one, the perfect woman for me all along.”

  She sniffed. “Well of course I’m the one. Who else could put up with you?”

  He kissed the top of her head. He could see a happy life ahead, but not always a peaceful one. “Who else indeed? I promise you will have ample opportunity to test that theory. We will mold our children into strong-minded individuals who will never suffer fools. Our progeny will have every advantage in life and we will love them with our whole hearts, as we love each other, because we will tell them every day just how much of a miracle they are.”

  She sniffed again and glanced up. Despite looking at him with glassy bright eyes, Esme had never been more beautiful to him. “Why are you so certain?”

  “That I love you?” He touched his chest. “I feel it here, every time I think of our days together, every time I recall being told you’d already left my home without a word of farewell and left me with a list of potential wives to consider as replacements. I have ached to hold you against me, talk to you, every moment since you left me. I am so sorry. I should have followed you. If I had, you would never have had to be worried about the babe on your own. I would have reassured you that no matter what happens, I would always be in love with you.”

  Richard smiled gently. “I might not always make the right decisions for myself, but you’ll have to grow accustomed to me knowing you better than you think. The list was a grave mistake.”

  She laughed a little. “I think so too.”

  He kissed her then, passionately and with all the longing he’d tried to contain for the past months without her in his life. He held nothing back in showing her how much he’d missed her. He was still as wild for her as their last night together in the woods.

  He led her back to the chaise lounge and, with her permission this time, lifted her skirts to see her belly. The slender body and flat stomach he’d admired months ago was even more beautiful when rounded. As he stroked her skin, his breath caught as the child beneath his fingers moved as if drawn to his touch. “We will have smart children.”

  “Please do not get ahead of yourself,” she chided. “One child is all I have ever hoped for. Don’t expect more than this. Please. I couldn’t bear to disappoint you.”

  “Oh, there will be more, I assure you.” The wishing tree had wrought miracles. He leaned close to kiss her belly then let his hands slide lower over her thighs. “The moment I saw you today, I wanted to make love to you. Desperately. We were meant for each other. I’ve felt this way every time you’ve left my arms.”

  Her fingers curled under his chin and she lifted his face to hers, delaying his wish to give her every imaginable pleasure with his tongue and mouth. “And I feel the same for you. It is the most disconcerting feeling. We have been enemies for so long.”

  He stood and rubbed his nose against hers. “Friendly enemies, clever girl. I have never hated you, even when you were giving me a proper set down.”

  She laughed then. “I will have to learn to curb my tongue as you must learn to heed my suggestions. Some of them. Most of them.”

  “I will try if you will. You’ll of course share my bed most nights of our marriage.” He winced at how pompous that sounded. “I am sure you believe that’s another example of my arrogance, but it is going to be an absolute necessity you must accept here and now.”

  “Why is that?” She frowned.

  He pressed his head to hers. “I’m liable to come looking for you in my sleep. You have no idea the difficulties my staff have faced in keeping me contained these past months. Being woken by a bucket of very cold water thrown in my face, in the middle of the night, halfway to the stables because my sleeping self has discovered how to pick a common lock, is not something I care to repeat too often.”

  “That must have been embarrassing.” Her eyes widened. “Do you realize you never so much as twitched in sleep when we shared a bed?”

  “Well, I had what I wanted most within reach then. Why would I wander when I had you in my arms?” He brushed his fingers over her cheek, loving her even more than he thought possible. “Now, onward to important matters. Can we make love today? I have no notion of how things must be done with a woman in your condition.”

  “Much the same, I’m told.” She laughed suddenly. “So, there is to be no further discussion of our marriage? You just expect me to comply with your demands?”

  Richard left Esme and locked the door for privacy. As he returned, he stripped himself of his jacket, waistcoat, cravat, and pulled his shirt over his head. Hearing Esme’s moan of appreciation for the view of his skin made him happier still. He tossed everything aside carelessly and covered Esme as she slithered into a more comfortable position. He kept his weight suspended lest he crush her. “No demands but that you marry me, and as soon as possible please. I have learned my lesson. The only thing I know for certain anymore is that you’re the one I want. The rest I leave to you to manage.”

  Esme burst out laughing and twined her arms about his neck, holding him firmly against a body he ached to feel bare against his once more. “I never intended to be the one you married,” she confessed. “But I’ve not even felt desire for another man since our last night together.”

  “It’s that blasted tree,” he complained. “Turns a man into a lapdog and women into willing puppets.”

  “It wasn’t the tree,” she whispered. “It was the way you wanted me. I loved that. I love you.”

  He grinned at her words.

  “Now for the last piece of the puzzle,” she asked. “Did you hate tying me up?”

  “Absolutely. I won’t ever do it again.” He grinned, remembering that night in the woods. “I like your hands on me too. And I’ll have you know I have kept to your rules. I’ve considered myself a married man since your ravishment at the base of the wishing tree. I have been entirely faithful, both in thought and in deed, since our first kiss.”

  “Just as well.” Her lips turned up at the corners. “I won’t share you with anyone.”

  “You will never have to.” He bent his head and licked the plump swell of her lower lip before indulging in a leisurely kiss that made them both very restless on the chaise. “You are the only woman I want in my life and my bed. You’d better get used to being adored.”

  Esme’s smile widened, her eyes filling with new tears. But they were tears of joy this time. And of happiness, he hoped. “Oh, I think I can accept that as my due. But you’ll have to be very thorough, indeed, to reassure me in my delicate condition.”

  He framed her face with both hands. His joy was barely contained. Emotion clogged his throat and when he spoke next, his voice was a rough whisper. “Trust me, I have nothing else on my mind, awake or sleeping, other than you. My one and only love, forevermore.”

  Epilogue

  “Richard,” Esme Hill, Countess of Windermere, bellowed at the top of her lungs. “Where have you taken our son?”

  Richard launched to his feet and stared at his wife in shock as she appeared in the library doorway. “Good God, woman, you’ve just given birth. What are you doing out of bed?”

  “I feel fine and the birth was yesterday.” She glanced around the room. “So where is he?”

  After their first child’s rocky beginning, motherhood had come easily to Esme
. It was a relief and a little alarming how well, actually. He’d hoped for an heir—just one son to carry on the Hill legacy and prevent the title from passing to his nosey cousin. He’d received far more than he’d bargained for with Esme as his wife.

  “Hiding.” He sank back down, knowing there were certain things he could argue with Esme about and other things that were not worth drawing breath for. Her health after laboring to deliver their children being one topic she refused to discuss with him. Ever. “I’m not to look for him until the clock strikes the hour.”

  She set her hands to her hips and glared. “I expect him to be returned to the nursery in the next half hour. He’s to take a bath and that’s final.”

  “Yes, my dear.” He tilted his head to the side and smiled at his wife. God, she was lovely when she was annoyed with him. Six years married and he was still in love with the most fascinating woman he’d ever met. And desirable. He had weeks of abstinence ahead and then he could make love to her again. He hated waiting. “I love you, clever girl.”

  She scowled. “I love you too; just don’t think seductive smiles like that are enough to appease me today. Your son has a woodsy odor about him from this morning’s play outside.”

  He grinned. “He has to learn everything if he’s to run this place once day. Mucking out the stables didn’t hurt him. That’s what my father did to me too. I turned out all right, didn’t I?”

  She huffed. “You did, eventually.”

  When she went on her way, he peeked under the table next to him and into two pairs of soft-blue eyes. “That was close, poppets. Mama didn’t know I’d abducted you too, or I’d be in double trouble.”

  His two-year-old daughter Katie and four-year-old daughter Marie crawled from cover on hands and knees and then climbed onto his lap.

  “Baby,” the youngest cooed happily.

  He smoothed her hair and winced when he found a piece of straw in the blonde locks. No doubt from the game she and Marie had played among the fresh hay. Katie might be in need of a bath too before her mother saw her again, and was that a smudge of earth on Marie’s knee? He was going to pay for that later. “Yes, you’ll have a little brother to play with soon. Baby Alistair just needs to grow a bit, so we must be quiet together while we wait until he’s bigger.”